Humor, military experience helps

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dun

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Military Humor

Three men are sitting stiffly side by side on a long commercial flight.
After they're airborne and the plane has leveled off, the man in the
window seat abruptly says, distinctly and confidently, in a loud voice,
"Admiral, United States Navy, retired. Married, two sons, both
surgeons."
After a few minutes the man in the aisle seat states through a tight
lipped smile, "Admiral, United States Coast Guard, retired. Married,
two sons, both judges."
After some thought, the fellow in the center seat decides to introduce
himself. With a twinkle in his eye he proclaims, "Master Chief, United
States Navy, retired. Never married, two sons . .. both Admirals.
----------------------------------------------
During training exercises, the lieutenant who was driving down a muddy
back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced
colonel at the wheel. "Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked ! the lieutenant as
he pulled alongside. "Nope," replied the colonel, coming over and
handing him the keys, "Yours is."
----------------------------------------------
Having just moved into his new office, a pompous, new colonel was
sitting at his desk when an airman knocked on the door. Conscious of
his new position, the colonel quickly picked up the phone, told the
airman to enter, then said into the phone, "Yes, General, I'll be
seeing him this afternoon and I'll pass along your message. In the
meantime, thank you for your good wishes, sir." Feeling as though he
had sufficiently impressed the young enlisted man, he asked, "What do
you want?" "Nothing important, sir," the airman replied, "I'm just here
to hook up your telephone."
----------------------------------------------
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "Sure,
buddy." Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it
again! Officer:! Do you have change for a dollar?" Soldier: "No, SIR!"
----------------------------------------------
Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party? A: He'll
tell you. Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? A:
God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot. Q: What's the difference
between a fighter pilot and a jet engine? A: jet engine stops whining
when the plane shuts down.
----------------------------------------------
An Air Force Chief Master Sergeant and a General were sitting in the
barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves,
when the barbers reached for some after-shave to slap on their faces.
The General shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will
think I've been in a whorehouse!" The Chief turned to his barber and
said, "Go ahead and put it on me. My wife doesn't know what the inside
of a whorehouse smells like."
----------------------------------------------"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I
suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting
for me to die so you can come and pee on my grave." "Not me, Chief!"
the Seaman replied. "Once I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to
stand in line again!"
----------------------------------------------
The elderly American gentleman arrived in Paris by plane. At French
Customs, he fumbled for his passport. "You 'ave been to France before,
monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. The old gent
admitted that he had been to France previously. "Zen, you should know
enough to 'ave your passport ready for inspection." The American said,
"The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. You
Americans alwayz 'ave to show your passports on arrival in France!" The
American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly
explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Omah! a Beach on D-Day in'44, I
couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."
 

Bez!

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Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party? A: He'll
tell you. Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? A:
God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

I have family that will read this and think you know me very well!

:lol: 8)
 
OP
dun

dun

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Bez!":1vthflk3 said:
Q: How do you know if there is a fighter pilot at your party? A: He'll
tell you. Q: What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? A:
God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

I have family that will read this and think you know me very well!

:lol: 8)

Actaully I just know a lot of fighter pilots, or used to in the desert.

dun
 

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