How to end the war

[Bama]

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man Elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces. These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
6. Their favorite movie is "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN."

We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday

 

[warpaint]

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man Elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces. These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
6. Their favorite movie is "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN."

We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday

Bama, I think you may have left one out.

7. They have said something BAD about your Mama!!

 

[Bama]

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the

day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the

weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. "Henry had


a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the

successful hunter replied. "You left Henry laying out there and carried the

deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured


no one is going to steal Henry!"

 

[*Cowgirl*]

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man Elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces. These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
6. Their favorite movie is "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN."

We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday

And the 1st one to bring back osama gets a new pickup and a bass boat.

 

[MrGale]

why wait till friday???? i'll throw in a brandy new dually to haul the bass boat, but only if warpaint will cook them brains with some eggs and get gale to eat em.... :cboy:

 

[Gale Seddon]

There's a sure bet that the winner ain't gettin' a new dually.

 

[chrisy]

good one bama.... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: go fer it boys.

 

[J. T.]

On a little more serious note, I read this the other day. General John "Black Jack" Pershing was fighting Muslim terrorists in the Philippines. His men had captured several of the enemy and was going to execute them. Before they shot the terrorists, they killed a pig in front of the men. Pershing's firing squad dipped their bullets in the swine blood before loading their guns. This would ensure that these Muslims would enter the afterlife unclean, thus negating their reward of 71 virgins for eternity. They shot all of the me except one, whom they set free to tell the fate of his comrades to the other terrorists. This ended Muslim terrorism in the Philippines for fifty years, or so the story goes. Maybe we could save on ammo and drop hog innards over Baghdad!

 

[Jogeephus]

On a little more serious note, I read this the other day. General John "Black Jack" Pershing was fighting Muslim terrorists in the Philippines. His men had captured several of the enemy and was going to execute them. Before they shot the terrorists, they killed a pig in front of the men. Pershing's firing squad dipped their bullets in the swine blood before loading their guns. This would ensure that these Muslims would enter the afterlife unclean, thus negating their reward of 71 virgins for eternity. They shot all of the me except one, whom they set free to tell the fate of his comrades to the other terrorists. This ended Muslim terrorism in the Philippines for fifty years, or so the story goes. Maybe we could save on ammo and drop hog innards over Baghdad!

A Russian colonel did this in Afganistan as well. Dug pit, slaughtered pigs for BBQ, put entrails and waste in pit. Lined prisoners up for interegation. First one spat at him. He pushed him in pit and shot him - the rest talked. This would probably work at Guan. Bay as well.

 

[warpaint]

why wait till friday???? i'll throw in a brandy new dually to haul the bass boat, but only if warpaint will cook them brains with some eggs and get gale to eat em.... :cboy:

Now, that's funny! :lol2:

 

[kjones]

Make every terrorist caught eat a bbq pork sandwich.

 

[backhoeboogie]

Make every terrorist caught eat a bbq pork sandwich.

If anyone needs the pork, I still have some ferals in the pen.

 

[kjones]

Now that I think about it, I wouldn't wast good bbq pork on a terrorist. Go with the method Pershing used.

 

[badaxemoo]

On a little more serious note, I read this the other day. General John "Black Jack" Pershing was fighting Muslim terrorists in the Philippines. His men had captured several of the enemy and was going to execute them. Before they shot the terrorists, they killed a pig in front of the men. Pershing's firing squad dipped their bullets in the swine blood before loading their guns. This would ensure that these Muslims would enter the afterlife unclean, thus negating their reward of 71 virgins for eternity. They shot all of the me except one, whom they set free to tell the fate of his comrades to the other terrorists. This ended Muslim terrorism in the Philippines for fifty years, or so the story goes. Maybe we could save on ammo and drop hog innards over Baghdad!

http://www.snopes.com/rumors/pershing.htm

While this story's veracity seems to be undetermined, I found the thoughtful article following the judgement to be interesting.

Some of you should read it.