How not to

[Anonymous]

Beats sledding down a snow cover hill made from a logging operatiom 50 fr tall with a pond at the bottom. The ice wasn't as thick as I thought it should have been

 

[greybeard]

I think I was safer with the bees than I woulda been with some of you folks.
As a matter of fact--I know I was.

 

[Angus Cowman]

I would of made it over the creek where they took the bridge out on my honda CR250
If it wouldn't have been for the dang neighbors german shepherd running out right in front of me doing about 60

motorcycles german shepherds and gravels roads aren't a good combination
between the burns from the exhaust pipe,the gravel imbedded in most parts of my body and several dog bites I decided not to try it again

 

[slick4591]

I had an uncle that decided he was going to help his elderly neighbors get rid of a bee hive in a wall of their home. He decide that my cousin would suit up to help him, so they started putting layers and layers of clothes on my cousin. One of the last things they did was to button the top button on all those shirts the kid was wearing. Cousin said that his dad would make sure that he could breath okay after each of those buttons were fastened. After the last one they started towards the house and my uncle heard a thump on the ground. For sure it was my cousin laying sprawled out on the ground passed out. What my uncle hadn't figured on was although the kid could breath, they had cut the blood flow to the kids brain with the last button. He woke up pretty quick after the buttons were loosened.

 

[Jogeephus]

:lol2: :lol2: That's why I rarely wear a monkey suit. Preacher gets offended that I'm sleeping when in reality I'm passed out - or so goes my new found excuse. ;-)

 

[ALACOWMAN]

your right about the skunk smell,, you think the smell is bad enough from a distance... but it picks up steam the closer you get,like nothing you can decribe... :cowboy:

 

[backhoeboogie]

Then along came that Evil Knievil fella. All the kids saw him do it on television so we knew it was possible but for the life of us we never could make it across that gully - and I assure you it wasn't for lack of trying. And we even had a ramp!

A 2 by 12 ramp on a 55 gallon barrel will get you enough elevation to jump over an abandonned Chevy Impala once you get that bicycle to top speed. Landing is the issue that was not considered.

The "not to do" thing for me involved trying to open a hickory nut with a pocket knife. Nut firmly grasped in the palm of the left hand and knife in the right. I still got the scar from the nut finally breaking open. Right after I did that my paternal grandaddy showed my his scar on his right knee from doing the same sort of thing.

 

[Jogeephus]

Scars reminded me of something else. Don't pick up a squirrel if his eyes are closed. I doubt the scar is as large as that of a Barlow but I guarantee it was deeper. :lol2:

 

[M5farm]

Winter of 77 a 10 yr old (me) and a 7 yr old decided that the bird hunting close to the house was not as productive as it would in the back of the field where there was a small patch of old pine trees and a small pond that had a natural island on it with an old oak tree for the bridge was at. This play area was called Devils Island and was ¼ mile from the house. We decided that we would go down there and camp, kill a few birds and cook them. The wind was blowing pretty strong that day and even though there was plenty of tender and wood to burn we couldn't keep the fire going. I discovered and old roll of web wire that had been there for years because one side was buried in the dirt it was almost a perfect oven especially with all the pine straw that covered the top. I built a nice little fire in my oven and went to find more wood when I turned around everything was on fire. Me being the oldest I suggested to my brother he should take off his jacket for me to beat out the fire and he should go get a bucket of water. He returned a short time later with a 5 gal bucket with about 3 handfuls of sand. He said the bucket was too heavy for him to tote with water so he grabbed some sand out of the mortar sand pile. By this time my aunt had seen the smoke and called my mother and they called forestry. My aunt had her old car with croaker sacks that we picked up pecans in and we soaked them in water and beat this fire out. When forestry arrived they had to write a report and my mom and aunt didn't want to get in trouble so they told him a fisherman must have started the fire. Needless to say there was another fire that night when my dad got home on my rear-end manly because their baby (my little brother) said it was all my idea. and they took away my bicycle and gun because I sent a 7 yr old to get a 5 gal bucket of water and burnt up his good jacket.

 

[Anonymous]

I'll beat that:
Don't pick up a flying squirrel or three you just dislodged from there communal nest by cutting down their tree. Although stunned, with cute,big eyes, those eyes allow those teeth to find their target easier

 

[Anonymous]

When trying to teach a younger brother how to ride a bike without the training wheels in for the first time, don't point the bike at a set of supports holding an open carport/garage up. This spikes then become the point of focus and 4 year olds have great aim just not so good balance