Homeschooling and social skills

[Keren]

From Novatech,

I totally agree. I have a daughter that was home schooled. She is now off in college. Biggest pain in the B I have ever herd. Cannot deal with other people especially the dominant ones. Everytime she has a social problem we get a phone call. 19 year old genius afraid to come out of her room.
Teach your kid right from wrong and how to deal with others starting now. Keep them busy in programs associating with the right kind of kids. The end result will still end up being how they make choices. Not the choices you make for them.

Just wanted to point out, that I went to private primary school and then public high school, now done three years of uni.

I still have difficulty dealing with people, especially the dominant ones.

Your comment: 19 year old genius afraid to come out of her room kind of struck a chord for me because I am that way, and I have been working with a group of people who I rely on to try and change it. If I was left to my own devices I would probably never leave the house. And I hate using the phone.

Just thought I would point this out to show its not neccessarily only homeschooled kids who are lacking in social skills.

Another thing, I taught myself to read and write by 3 yrs. By the time I hit primary school at four I was writing my own stories and all the way through primary school I read (and spelled) at a higher level. By the time I went to high school, there wasnt a structured reading program but I read my way through the library and gave the librarian a list every month of new books to get. I completed 4 units of english for my HSC instead of the usual two, one if which involved the composition of an original short story (about 30 pages) which was given 96% when marked. The point of all this, is I started early and I always remained ahead of my cohort in terms of english reading and writing, but no one taught me when I was little. All my parents knew about it was when I came inside and said 'how do you spell praying' and disappeared. Later on they discovered I had written 'church is for praying' on the verandah in chalk. I taught myself to read and write at that age because I enjoyed it - and I stayed ahead of my cohort because I enjoyed it.

One more thing - I did a LOT of science in my HSC - biology and chemistry - plus agricultural science. I wouldnt have been able to do these things through homeschool (who has their own labs??) and I wouldnt have been able to get into my uni degree, BUT, I think as long as the homeschool can provide what the student needs (say if you are focused more on english, maths, geography, history, politics, business etc) then why should there be a problem?

Sorry for the long and rambling post, I just wanted to get my thoughts out.

 

[Chris H]

Keren, a lot of areas in the USA have homeschool co-ops and get together for classes in advanced maths & sciences. Plus, most of the states here have a dual enrollment option, beginning in our high school years advanced students can take college classes and get credit toward high school and college. Best of all, the cost of the class is covered by the public school dollars.

I never would have guessed you don't feel outgoing and assertive, you hide that very well!

 

[hayray]

All the home school kids I know have way better social skills, after all, they hang out with and are mentored more by adults then the average public school kid so I have not seen the lack of social skills and cowardness of other people. Being home schooled does not equate to not being around people.

 

[I luv herfrds]

Keren it is also hard to deal with a dominate person when you have bullied to the extreme.
I have finally found my feet when it comes to dominate persons, I have also been taught to assert myself, took me along time to do it though and it is still not easy.

As for the homeschooled kids the ones in our area do a play every year, have get togethers and also do field trips most of the public school kids don't do. Like a trip to the Museum of the Rockies and many other things.
Now Lammie said there was no way to make sure that the kids are getting a good education where she is. Up here the kids take tests every year and those tests are sent off to the state. If they are not sent off the state reports the parents and they are investigated. A good majority are good about it, but I'm sure a few drop through the cracks.

 

[john250]

I would like to say that the public schools would be better if they were for everyone. I treasure the characters I met in public school. Maintaining control over your childrens' contacts is a poor reason, I think, to go to home schooling. It is your job to teach your kids how to meet the world, even if you are like me and don't know much yourself.

I think I knew all the major cuss words by the time I was 15, and I was probably sheltered. I know them all, and I have combined them in some creative ways, working with cows. But hey, you could talk to me and think I was a deacon. I learned when it was appropriate to cuss, and when not from my parents--not the school.

Plenty of good folks work the public schools. They work within the constraints of ludicrous laws which require us to spend school money on social ills, leaving less to educate the average joe and jane.

Parental concerns trump all, IMO. So if you chose to homeschool, I think you have that right. Some will work it right, some will fail. I just hope if you try it you get the opinion of several people who will give you an honest opinion.

 

[HOSS]

As I posted before home schooling worked out well and is still working out well for us. That being said there are some folks that I know who shouldn't attempt to train a puppy much less a child. I think as with everything else it should be a personal family choice. I just wish that those of us that homeschool could get some of our tax dollars back that we spend on public school services that we don't use. I would not mind paying half to contribute.

 

[djinwa]

Keren, you bring up a good point – one of many that those of us trained in government schools failed to learn. That is, correlation does not mean causation.

Because a homeschooled child is shy does not mean the homeschooling caused it. They probably also eat beef – is that the cause of anti-social behavior?

You'd think people on a cattle website would occasionally mention the role of genetics. We can select for disposition in cattle – why do we not accept it is passed along in humans? It is possible that less social parents are more likely to homeschool, and their children are genetically more likely to be shy. So genetics could be determining the shyness, not the homeschooling.

Interesting that everyone assumes that strong social abilities are critical for everyone. While it is true that we need to have a minimum level of function (leaving the house), I find it a problem when people are TOO social. At work, it is often more efficient for certain jobs to be done separately, but many can't work alone! They get lonesome. So you see three guys doing what one could do. And of course, there's the time spent BSing around the coffee pot. I have concluded that most go to work not to work, but to socialize. I guess that's considered a great skill. We need some people that can work by themselves.

I guess our economy also depends on strong social ties. After all, if you don't have the right clothes, house, cars, party, etc, you won't be accepted by others, right? Nerds don't buy into all that crap. Yes, we're in a big financial crisis, largely due to our gluttony built on personal and public debt. How kids can be issued a diploma without mastering personal and public finance is beyond me. The goal is to get kids to be big earners and even bigger spenders to keep up with their neighbors.

Greatly social people also fail to question the system. Especially a government school will promote the greatness of our current "leaders" who not only provide the school's salaries, but waste trillions of dollars on various scams. All in violation of the highest law, the Constitution, now considered to be a joke. Yes, because we're trained to "get along" we're all willing to drink the Koolaid.

Genetics are also the primary determinant of intelligence, and intelligence is the best indicator of future success. Many claim college is necessary for a better salary. But it just so happens that the naturally smarter kids go to college, and they'd do well regardless. As recently stated on a 20/20 show, you could lock them in a closet for 4 years and they'd make more money than others.

Likewise, I think the schools could be shut down tomorrow, and the smart and ambitious kids would find a way to learn, especially when they get hungry. We force-feed information and wonder why many aren't interested – we need labor – let them dig ditches if they want.

I could go on, but......

 

[Nesikep]

hey, what happened to my post? I had a big long one and it vanished

 

[milkmaid]

Keren, you bring up a good point – one of many that those of us trained in government schools failed to learn. That is, correlation does not mean causation.

Because a homeschooled child is shy does not mean the homeschooling caused it. They probably also eat beef – is that the cause of anti-social behavior?

You'd think people on a cattle website would occasionally mention the role of genetics. We can select for disposition in cattle – why do we not accept it is passed along in humans?

Excellent post.

I and my 3 younger brothers have all been homeschooled. I was homeschooled K-12 and I'm now in college, working on my pre-vet degree... I don't like speaking to groups of people but I wouldn't call myself shy or anti-social and no one that's met me would either. The oldest of my younger brothers (now in his first year of college) loved speaking in public so much that he went to the public high school his senior year, joined the debate team and went to state several times.

I don't generally tell folks right off when I first meet them that I was homeschooled as they tend to look at me like I've just grown antennas or something, but I haven't found being homeschooled to be a detriment to my education or social skills in any way.

 

[angie1]

hey, what happened to my post? I had a big long one and it vanished

I don't know, but if you find it will you check around for a white sock, a green lighter, a set of car keys and book of checks. Appreciate it!

 

[Keren]

Luvhfords - yep, thats pretty much why I have confrontation issues. Had a pretty crappy time all through primary and high school :?

Chris H - I'm hiding behind a computer way way away from you which makes me brave. I am assertive and outgoing with people I know. But when I meet people for the first time ... argh. Dont even make me think about it. I am a bit of a paradox because I am an EXCELLENT public speaker and really enjoy it. Go figure.

Some really good points here from everyone.

FWIW, poor social skills arent genotype in my case :lol2: as all my brothers and sisters and parents are social butterflies.

 

[CKC1586]

As I posted before home schooling worked out well and is still working out well for us. That being said there are some folks that I know who shouldn't attempt to train a puppy much less a child. I think as with everything else it should be a personal family choice. I just wish that those of us that homeschool could get some of our tax dollars back that we spend on public school services that we don't use. I would not mind paying half to contribute.

Boy oh boy, ain't that the truth!!!!! :nod:

 

[CattleHand]

Luvhfords - yep, thats pretty much why I have confrontation issues. Had a pretty crappy time all through primary and high school :?

Chris H - I'm hiding behind a computer way way away from you which makes me brave. I am assertive and outgoing with people I know. But when I meet people for the first time ... argh. Dont even make me think about it. I am a bit of a paradox because I am an EXCELLENT public speaker and really enjoy it. Go figure.

Some really good points here from everyone.

FWIW, poor social skills arent genotype in my case :lol2: as all my brothers and sisters and parents are social butterflies.

I bet you are pretty smart none the less. My little brother is the same way. The boy is a genius but couldn't hold a conversation with a stranger and can't branch out to meet people. Why would you say you are so shy? I always figured his reason was because he had an older brother that watched out for him too much at school and never learned to be assertive. Or maybe he is just so smart talking to the rest of us is a chore for him haha. same thing true for you?

As for whether homeschooling hurts social skills, at first I would of agreed. But after reading these posts it gos back down to what are the parents like. Which is basically the main factor behind homeschooling. The acorn doesnt fall far from the free, and when its homeschooled it may fall even closer.