Highway Math

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warpaint

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A MAN WHO KNOWS HIS MATH

He writes:

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her.

This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out the window and gave the woman the finger. " Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.

There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars.

That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.

That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding.

That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.

That's 98

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Give her the finger? I don't think so.
 
That guy must drive 360 in Arlington...

This is not a joke here, I saw this when I made that 360 commute daily.

I used to jump off onto the access roads hoping to make a little headway. I was stopped at an overpass light when the car door of the woman behind me flew open! She ran past me up to the p/u of a man that had a woman sitting close to him. She beat on that window, screaming and yelling and grabbed hold of the door handle to open it. The light changed and the man couldn't drive away 'cause she still had hold of the handle.

None of the rest of the long line of cars could either, of course, but then none of us tried...we were all too stunned...and were watching the show. She finally let go of the handle to beat the window with both hands and the man took off and turned left. We all still just sat there staring.

Since I was in front of her, I decided to go. She jumped in her car and the second I made it across the highway she shot off to the left in hot pursuit.

I can only imagine what happened when she caught them. :shock:

Alice
 

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