hi everyone

[boondocks]

just dropping in to say hello. It has been a long time since I've been on. Tonight was 19 months since my son/only child died and it has been a very difficult time (understatement). I am very lucky to have a good hubby. I have been told by other parents who lost a child that within 5 years, we should not be surprised to have many of our family and friends drift away. We have noticed that many people are uncomfortable talking about our son; a few neighbors we were friends with avoided us for many months until we went out of our way to reach out to them. It seems like we have rituals for funerals but then no one knows what to do after that. We are every parents' worst nightmare, a reminder that the most dreaded thing CAN happen. Grief cooties, I guess (sorry, my go-to coping mechanism is dark humor). We have been lucky to have a few of our son's close friends stay in touch. We had planned a memorial hike in Canada this month--to his favorite place, Yoho--but this dang pandemic derailed that. We still have our cows but to be honest, it is just going through the motions. DIdn't help that we lost our first 2 calves this spring and then had an abysmal AI conception rate. (Stay away from GAR Phoenix). What is everyone else up to? What have I missed? I see y'all are still talking politics and getting threads locked--good on ya, it made me smile.

 

[sstterry]

Boondocks,
Your name has been brought up frequently on the Board and always with concerns about how you were doing and many many prayers. I can assure you that you have been on the minds of many members, including me. It is really great to see you back and I, for one, hope you stick around.

There have been a lot of changes here on the CT Board in the last 19 months. But, I will leave it to others to fill you in on those.

 

[wbvs58]

Good to hear from you Boondocks. Sounds like you are making a big effort to get on with things. Sad to hear how some people are avoiding you. I guess they just don't know what to say, unsure whether to talk about your son or not.
Glad to hear you still have the cows, I'll take your advice on GAR Phoenix, I have some GAR Ashland in the tank to use end of next month. I like to blend the occaisional GAR bull in with my lot especially to improve the marbling with the progeny of the SAV bulls.

Ken

 

[TCRanch]

Thanks for the update! I think about you a lot, wondered if you still had the cattle and how you're doing. Sending hugs.

 

[MurraysMutts]

:tiphat:
Hey howdy hey there.
Nice to see ya hangin out!

 

[Dsth]

Welcome back boondocks. Reading your post brought a tear to my eye. So sorry to hear about your son. I can understand that your cows can fill part of that void but never bring back the enthusiasm that they once did. I have not been on the CT forum for long so I feel somewhat left out from your previous wisdom that you have shared with long time CT members. Hope returning to the forum brings back some of the pleasures it did before you took a break from here. Hope to get to know you better through your upcoming post.

 

[TennesseeTuxedo]

Hello boondocks, great hearing from you.

 

[farmerjan]

Echoing everyone else's sentiments that it is good to hear from you again. I also think of you often, and wonder if you still had the cattle. Nothing will ever be the same but maybe you can find some small pleasures in life again.
I am sure that it is sometimes that people don't know what to say or if to say anything. So many try to refrain from talking about a lost loved one, for fear it will start a painful reaction, and so don't say anything. I am as guilty of it as anyone, and I have found myself bluntly asking if the person, that is suffering the grief , wants to talk about the loved one or would rather not. Especially if I knew that person. I find myself wanting to talk a little, to remember the good things, the funny things, and even some of the sadder things that made that person unique. Often it seems to open up the communication with a friend that doesn't know what to say.
Sometimes you have to be the one to reach out, even if really, you shouldn't have to be the one to reach out.

I am very glad you reached out here to all of us , and let us know that you are still surviving, and trying to get on with life. I am glad that his friends have stayed in touch with you, and that is a tribute to you that as his parents, he thought that much of you to have you continue to be a part of his adult life too. As proud as you were of him, it shows that he was proud to have you as his parents, because his friends were also your friends/surrogate "kids".

I am real sorry that this insane covid stuff has prevented you from paying tribute to him at this time. But you will do it in the future, when it is the right time to do so.

Please check in and keep us up on things. We all care about you and I know I often look to see if you have checked up on things. Hugs and thoughts to both you and your husband.

 

[farmerjan]

Since you asked, I will add a bit. I had a very successful ankle replacement in Feb., Rehab was difficult with the covid insanity, but it is doing well. Knees are next. have lost a few rental farms and pastures, have been culling out some older cows coming up open. Few more to go tomorrow. Was hotter than the hinges of he// all of July, records over 90 for like 27 or 28 days or something... basically the whole month. Had conception difficulties, just slow to get bred back, so having some new calves now.
Dairies still selling out, although haven't been as many, but the milk prices continue to be low.....several getting close to retirement age and no one wanting to take over....
Beef prices have done a roller coaster ride, but are holding okay. The shortages with the plant shut downs has put our local butcher into booking over a YEAR out.
Scary what things have looked like the past several months in this country. I am praying that somewhere we get some sanity and common sense returned to these idiots before too much damage is done.

We're all here for you....

 

[farmerjan]

Again, my thoughts have gone out to wonder how you are doing boondocks. Been a year since we have heard from you. Just wanted to say hi and let you know you are still in my... and many of us's..... thoughts.