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rockridgecattle

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I went. Part of me is glad i went to the celebration. Stayed with brother #1 and we are ok. That is why i am glad i went.
I am raw with anger, and hurt, and now need to deal with the fact that my mother did not love me and brother #1. It was evident in more than one way and the shots from the grave were loud and clear. I would say more but i have bawled enough for a life time. I cry in secret so no one sees the hurt. I did not make a spectical of myself at this thing. I went with my head high, my opinions to my self even though i wanted to say a few words.

Thank you for all your words of encouragment and advice. I weighed it all very carefully...the purse strings are cut...
 

hillsdown

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I thought you went RR. I am so sorry as to how you were treated and there is no shame in crying, in fact it helps us heal.

Take care and stay warm..You are a wonderful, kind, compassionate, loving, empathetic person and never ever forget that.. We all know that about you , you should too..
 

peg4x4

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You are a class act.You came out better than your upbringing. Congradulations. Your kids have benefited-How,you ask? Because you know what not to do,how not to act. I wish I could give you a hug..I really wish I could take some of the hurt away. It is no fault of yours that you are related to these SOBs. Be proud of how far you've come. Please take care..Peg
 

Lammie

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Better by far to have taken the high road on this. I am sureit will come in handy while you are healing, and you have to allow yourelf to heal. Peace.
 

bigbull338

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you hang in there an you hold your head high.i know your hurt an angry.but only you can deal with it.an its not easy but keep trying.
 

chrisy

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Good for you girl...so glad you went now think you can put that part of your life to bed forever and not have to open it again. You will never have to reproach yourself for anything. You can hold your head high and know you are better than them. You know now you are home with family and friends that love and respect you. The hurt will soon pass as you know you done the right thing.
 

larryshoat

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I think you did the right thing, as painful as it was. Prayers for you to heal.

Larry
 

GMN

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Just remember they got the problem not you. Why do families have to be this way-I will never understand it.

GMN
 
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rockridgecattle

rockridgecattle

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thanks all and to those who PM'd. I am starting to pick up the pieces, work has been good. Hubby is getting the short fuse and has been patient. got to watch my temper, it is easily lit.

Rr
 

peg4x4

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Ok,you feel that he will still love you even if you blow up at him..you don't think you can be mad at those you are really mad at,'cause they won't love you then,even tho they already don't... The human mind is a twisty place,ain't it..
 

chrisy

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rockridgecattle":2q1tb1jz said:
thanks all and to those who PM'd. I am starting to pick up the pieces, work has been good. Hubby is getting the short fuse and has been patient. got to watch my temper, it is easily lit.

Rr
Rr I'm sure he understands and will take a lot more than you think...But one good thing is to get a pillow, and hang it somewhere and lash out on it, pretend it is the person you most want to lash out at, and yell scream, punch and even tear at it...believe me it is a great way to deal with those inner pent up feelings and alleviate stress, it also takes it off of the one you love, as the old saying goes you always hurt the one you love etc. I find it helps me, I have had a few feathers all over the garden before now, I tend to use the foam filled ones now less messy. they are even good to cry into and cuddle. It may sound daft but they are good listeners and don't answer back, try one hope it helps....Take care...Chris.
 

1982vett

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rockridgecattle":1na58s2e said:
thanks all and to those who PM'd. I am starting to pick up the pieces, work has been good. Hubby is getting the short fuse and has been patient. got to watch my temper, it is easily lit.

Rr

STOP THAT!
 

chrisy

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1982vett":3ov5y7fn said:
rockridgecattle":3ov5y7fn said:
thanks all and to those who PM'd. I am starting to pick up the pieces, work has been good. Hubby is getting the short fuse and has been patient. got to watch my temper, it is easily lit.

Rr

STOP THAT!
easy to say when your not hurting. hard to do when you are. Innocent bystander always gets it, first in line.
 

Double R Ranch

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I didn't catch the first part of this but we are wishing you well and it sounds like you did the right thing. In a bit of a family "issue" as well and it is never easy. I will look up the other topic to see the beginning of this and maybe I can learn from you.
Best wishes!
double R
 

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