redneckcowgirlmn
Well-known member
It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so St. Peter decided to change
the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven,
you had to have a really bad day the day you died. The policy would go
into effect at noon the following day.
The next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
The angel at the gate, remembering the new law, promptly asked the man,
"Before I can let you in, I need you to tell me about the day you died."
"No problem," said the man... "Well, for some time now, I've thought my
wife was having an affair. I believed that each day on her lunch hour,
she'd bring her lover home to our 25th floor apartment. So today I was
going to come home and catch them.
Well, when I got there I immediately began searching for this guy. My
wife was running around yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.
But, I couldn't find him!
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony
and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!
The nerve of that guy to think he could hide from me!
Well, I ran out there and promptly stomped on his fingers until he fell to
the ground. But, wouldn't you know it, he landed in some bushes that broke
his fall, and he didn't die."
"This angered me even more, so in a rage I went back inside to get the
first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. And oddly enough, the
first thing I could grab was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it
out onto the balcony and over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and
crushed him!"
"The excitement of the moment was so great that right then and there I had
a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The angel sat back and thought for a moment. Technically, the guy DID have
a bad day, and it WAS a crime of passion, so he announced, "OK, Sir.
Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A few seconds later the next guy came up. "OK. Here's the rule. Before I
can let you in, I need to hear about the day you died."
"Sure thing," the man replied. "But you're not gonna believe this. I was
out on the balcony of 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises when I
got a little carried away and accidentally fell over the side!
Luckily however, I was able to catch myself by my fingertips on the
balcony directly beneath mine. All of a sudden this crazy man comes
running out of his apartment and starts cussing and stomping on my
fingers! Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes on the way
down which broke my fall so I wasn't killed. But as I'm laying there face
up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see the man
push his refrigerator, of all things, over the ledge and it falls directly
on top of me and kills me!"
The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. "I
could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the
angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man
enter.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A few seconds later a third man in line comes up to the gate. "Tell me
about the day you died," said the angel.
"OK. Picture this," says the man. "I'm naked, hiding inside this
refrigerator..."
the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven,
you had to have a really bad day the day you died. The policy would go
into effect at noon the following day.
The next day at 12:01 the first person came to the gates of Heaven.
The angel at the gate, remembering the new law, promptly asked the man,
"Before I can let you in, I need you to tell me about the day you died."
"No problem," said the man... "Well, for some time now, I've thought my
wife was having an affair. I believed that each day on her lunch hour,
she'd bring her lover home to our 25th floor apartment. So today I was
going to come home and catch them.
Well, when I got there I immediately began searching for this guy. My
wife was running around yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment.
But, I couldn't find him!
Just as I was about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony
and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips!
The nerve of that guy to think he could hide from me!
Well, I ran out there and promptly stomped on his fingers until he fell to
the ground. But, wouldn't you know it, he landed in some bushes that broke
his fall, and he didn't die."
"This angered me even more, so in a rage I went back inside to get the
first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. And oddly enough, the
first thing I could grab was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it
out onto the balcony and over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and
crushed him!"
"The excitement of the moment was so great that right then and there I had
a heart attack and died almost instantly."
The angel sat back and thought for a moment. Technically, the guy DID have
a bad day, and it WAS a crime of passion, so he announced, "OK, Sir.
Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A few seconds later the next guy came up. "OK. Here's the rule. Before I
can let you in, I need to hear about the day you died."
"Sure thing," the man replied. "But you're not gonna believe this. I was
out on the balcony of 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises when I
got a little carried away and accidentally fell over the side!
Luckily however, I was able to catch myself by my fingertips on the
balcony directly beneath mine. All of a sudden this crazy man comes
running out of his apartment and starts cussing and stomping on my
fingers! Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes on the way
down which broke my fall so I wasn't killed. But as I'm laying there face
up on the ground, unable to move and in excruciating pain, I see the man
push his refrigerator, of all things, over the ledge and it falls directly
on top of me and kills me!"
The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. "I
could get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," the
angel announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets the man
enter.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
A few seconds later a third man in line comes up to the gate. "Tell me
about the day you died," said the angel.
"OK. Picture this," says the man. "I'm naked, hiding inside this
refrigerator..."
