Headlines from 2029

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dun

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An oldy but still a goody


Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia former ly known as California . White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

(My personal favorite) Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels


France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
 
dun celebrates his birthday by harrassing the nurses; and wishing he and Willie Nelson didn't have so much in common ~ Happy 125th!! :tiphat:
 
john250":1tq6bof1 said:
angie":1tq6bof1 said:
dun celebrates his birthday by harrassing the nurses; and wishing he and Willie Nelson didn't have so much in common ~ Happy 125th!! :tiphat:

Harassing the valkyries--more likely.

Ya mean Angel isn't really a nurse? :?
 
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