here's one i think we've seen before but worth repeating:
OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands
to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving. CBS, CNN, NBC, and ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the
ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is
stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of
such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the
Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when
they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a
demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film
the group singing "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel
down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. John Kerry, John Edwards,
Ted Kennedy, Tom Daschle , Dick Gephart, Hillary Clinton and Howard Dean
stage an interview with Peter Jennings claiming that the ant has
gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and call for an immediate
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." Finally, the
EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,"
retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having
nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by
the government. Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is
tried before a panel of Federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed
from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the
case. As the story ends, as we see the grasshopper finishing up the
last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which
just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he
doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. Later, the
grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related incident and the house,
now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican
OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands
to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while
others are cold and starving. CBS, CNN, NBC, and ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the
ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is
stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of
such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the
Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when
they sing "It's Not Easy Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a
demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film
the group singing "We shall overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel
down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake. John Kerry, John Edwards,
Ted Kennedy, Tom Daschle , Dick Gephart, Hillary Clinton and Howard Dean
stage an interview with Peter Jennings claiming that the ant has
gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and call for an immediate
tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share." Finally, the
EEOC drafts the "Economic Equity and Anti-Grasshopper Act,"
retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for
failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having
nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by
the government. Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is
tried before a panel of Federal judges that Bill Clinton appointed
from a list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the
case. As the story ends, as we see the grasshopper finishing up the
last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which
just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he
doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow. Later, the
grasshopper is found dead in a drug-related incident and the house,
now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the
once peaceful neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY: Vote Republican
