Giving up WINE!!!!!

[chrisy]

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.


'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'

 

[Lammie]

Give us a kiss!

 

[grannysoo]

Pucker up baby! You're looking good.

 

[alacattleman]

she looks like one end of a hog or other,cant figure which. dam thats a ugly women

 

[grand chaser09]

she looks like one end of a hog or other,cant figure which. dam thats a ugly women

:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

 

[talldog]

Looks like my mother-in-law !!! :banana:

 

[alacattleman]

Looks lik my mother-in-law !!! :banana:

you know what they says, if you what to know what your wife will like in a few years looks at her moma

 

[talldog]

That's what I'm worried about----She looks more and more like her everyday !!! :tiphat:

 

[john250]

Pucker up baby! You're looking good.

I need more beer.

 

[HerefordSire]

I have seen several that would think she is sexy at closing time. And no, they are not from Alabama.

 

[TexasBred]

I have seen several that would think she is sexy at closing time. And no, they are not from Alabama.

Who sung the song "I went to bed at 2 with a 10 and woke up at 10 with a 2?? Well this is a negative 2. She is U-gly

 

[alacattleman]

coyote ugly? aint that where she lying asleep on your arm and you gnaw it off too keep from waking her

 

[talldog]

Pucker up baby! You're looking good.

I need more beer.

Don't get me wrong-----I don't know if there's enough beer for her to look good---But maybe---Whata you think Grannysoo ???????

 

[jw]

Looks like my mother-in-law !!! :banana:

I know you have only been with us a short time on this board.

And I know you probably would have a lot to contribute in the future.

I also know you won't be around to be with us in the future, so where should we send flowers for you???????

 

[IGotMyWings]

I have seen several that would think she is sexy at closing time. And no, they are not from Alabama.

Who sung the song "I went to bed at 2 with a 10 and woke up at 10 with a 2?? Well this is a negative 2. She is U-gly

Willie Nelson. "Never gone to bed with an ugly woman, but I sure woke up with a few! Last night I came in at 2 with a 10 and woke up at 10 with a 2!" :tiphat:

 

[hillrancher]

Dam, she would scare a haint up a thorn bush.