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Getting Old
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<blockquote data-quote="la4angus" data-source="post: 25812" data-attributes="member: 132"><p>Getting Old</p><p>> ></p><p>> ></p><p>> ></p><p>> > The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > Maybe it's true that life begins at sixty. But everything else</p><p>> starts</p><p>> > to wear out, fall out, or spread out.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory,</p><p>> > the other two I forget.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just</p><p>> as</p><p>> > long as you don't have to go along.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > Old age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to</p><p>> > every man. Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds?</p><p>> ></p><p>> > You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office</p><p>> start</p><p>> > confiding in you.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > Old age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to</p><p>> go</p><p>> > anywhere.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > Old age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have</p><p>> begun</p><p>> > to grow in the middle.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > Of course I'm against sin; I'm against anything that I'm too old to</p><p>> > enjoy.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never</p><p>> ends.</p><p>> > What must hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?</p><p>> ></p><p>> > A man has reached old age when he is cautioned to slow down by his</p><p>> > doctor instead of by the police.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > Being a senior adult is having a choice of two temptations and</p><p>> > choosing the one that will get you home earlier.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > You know you're into old age when you realize that caution is the</p><p>> only</p><p>> > thing you care to exercise.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to </p><p>take a</p><p>> > laxative.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will</p><p>> > avoid you.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way</p><p>> > through Congress.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the</p><p>> > parking lot.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get</p><p>> > it started.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling,</p><p>> > and you didn't do anything the night before.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is</p><p>> > that you are not a hypochondriac.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.</p><p>> ></p><p>> > Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="la4angus, post: 25812, member: 132"] Getting Old > > > > > > > > The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out. > > > > Maybe it's true that life begins at sixty. But everything else > starts > > to wear out, fall out, or spread out. > > > > There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory, > > the other two I forget. > > > > You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just > as > > long as you don't have to go along. > > > > Old age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work. > > > > Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to > > every man. Isn't that the darndest time for a guy to get those odds? > > > > You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office > start > > confiding in you. > > > > Old age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired. > > > > By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to > go > > anywhere. > > > > Old age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have > begun > > to grow in the middle. > > > > Of course I'm against sin; I'm against anything that I'm too old to > > enjoy. > > > > Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never > ends. > > What must hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion? > > > > A man has reached old age when he is cautioned to slow down by his > > doctor instead of by the police. > > > > Being a senior adult is having a choice of two temptations and > > choosing the one that will get you home earlier. > > > > You know you're into old age when you realize that caution is the > only > > thing you care to exercise. > > > > At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take a > > laxative. > > > > Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will > > avoid you. > > > > The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way > > through Congress. > > > > You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the > > parking lot. > > > > You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get > > it started. > > > > You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, > > and you didn't do anything the night before. > > > > Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news: the good news is > > that you are not a hypochondriac. > > > > It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything. > > > > You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas. > > > > Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money. [/QUOTE]
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