George Carlin

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Cattle Rack Rancher

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Mar 10, 2004
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Manitoba, Canada
George Carlin's Views on Aging
>Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is
>when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about
>aging that you think in fractions.
>"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a
>half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
>You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the
>number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You
>could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!
>And then the greatest day of your life . . . you become 21. Even the words
>sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
>But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad
>milk. He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just
>a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
>You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the
>brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 . ... and
>your dreams are gone.
>But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! So you BECOME
>21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
>You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a
>thing; you HIT Wednesday! You get into your 80s and every day is a
>cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end
>there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92."
>Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little
>kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
>May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

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