Funerals

[Dave]

I have been to a couple where the preacher is talking about the deceased like he was a saint. I sitting there thinking I must be at the wrong funeral because this preacher isn't talking about the guy I knew.

 

[JMJ Farms]

I have been to a couple where the preacher is talking about the deceased like he was a saint. I sitting there thinking I must be at the wrong funeral because this preacher isn't talking about the guy I knew.

Me too Dave. I guess as a preacher they don't want to disrespect the dead and upset the family. But they ain't got to oversell it.

 

[Rafter S]

I have been to a couple where the preacher is talking about the deceased like he was a saint. . .

My church doesn't generally brag on the deceased, and I've always thought that was the right way to go about it. When the preacher does that he's either saying what everyone already knew, or he's lying.

On the other hand, when my father passed away our pastor, who was close to him, started off his sermon with "A prince has fallen in Whitehall." That was pretty much the end of the bragging, but meant a lot to me.

 

[jltrent]

Went to one yesterday...as the wife has a lot of kin folks. Not long ago went to three in one week.

 

[TCRanch]

Went to one this past Monday. My neighbor. He was 83. Graveside service only. He had no family present. Only 18 people there and one of those was the preacher and two were funeral home employees. Smallest attendance I've ever seen in our tight knit community. Ever.

Speaking of attendance, it seems like that's becoming a trophy where I'm from. When some people pass, the visitation line is out the door. I've stood in line for over an hour before. It's hard to believe that many people really had a connection. Afterwards, everyone talks about the huge crowd. I don't recall that so much when I was growing up.

I've seen visitation lines here that were 3+ hours long. And I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. Especially when death was a young person or because of a sudden unanticipated accident. I live in a rural area with population somewhere around 22k. A lot of big families with tons of connections to many people either directly or through kids, grandkids, marriage, etc. There are very few people who die here that I don't know, either them personally, or someone in their family.

One other reason you have larger visitations here is because of how effectively news travels these days. What irks me is when the politicians start showing up to visitations on an election year. After they get beat or are no longer in office they get as scarce as hens teeth.

Three years ago a friend of ours was killed in a freak accident, leaving behind a wife & 3 daughters - the youngest all of 6 months old. We weren't able to go to the visitation but went to the funeral. The largest place that could accommodate such a crowd (indoors, it was Feb & freezing) was the high school gym and it was still standing room only. Service lasted 2 hours.

 

[JMJ Farms]

Speaking of attendance, it seems like that's becoming a trophy where I'm from. When some people pass, the visitation line is out the door. I've stood in line for over an hour before. It's hard to believe that many people really had a connection. Afterwards, everyone talks about the huge crowd. I don't recall that so much when I was growing up.

I've seen visitation lines here that were 3+ hours long. And I'm not exaggerating in the slightest. Especially when death was a young person or because of a sudden unanticipated accident. I live in a rural area with population somewhere around 22k. A lot of big families with tons of connections to many people either directly or through kids, grandkids, marriage, etc. There are very few people who die here that I don't know, either them personally, or someone in their family.

One other reason you have larger visitations here is because of how effectively news travels these days. What irks me is when the politicians start showing up to visitations on an election year. After they get beat or are no longer in office they get as scarce as hens teeth.

Three years ago a friend of ours was killed in a freak accident, leaving behind a wife & 3 daughters - the youngest all of 6 months old. We weren't able to go to the visitation but went to the funeral. The largest place that could accommodate such a crowd (indoors, it was Feb & freezing) was the high school gym and it was still standing room only. Service lasted 2 hours.

Terrible. Every so often something kinda like that happens around here. Three weeks ago a good friend of mine lost his 10 year old daughter in a car accident and his mother in law was the driver. Only a few hundred yards from his house. He was the first one to the scene. I can't imagine anything worse. I'm not sure they even had a visitation and I think the funeral may have been private. Not sure. But I know there would have been hundreds if not more that would have attended that particular service. But I really don't think they wanted to see anyone. And I don't blame them.

 

[ChrisB]

Went to one a few weeks ago.
They think it is a good time to get sinners saved. I got nothing against getting sinners saved, but I think a funeral should be to remember and honor the dead.

I remember in times past, people gathering around the casket, saying "Don't he look naturel." They all just looked dead to me.

I think it is usually up to the family what type of message they would like. And I know people that would prefer their memorial service to reach out to others that a funeral might be the only place they would ever hear the message of salvation.

 

[herofan]

Went to one a few weeks ago.
They think it is a good time to get sinners saved. I got nothing against getting sinners saved, but I think a funeral should be to remember and honor the dead.

I remember in times past, people gathering around the casket, saying "Don't he look naturel." They all just looked dead to me.

I think it is usually up to the family what type of message they would like. And I know people that would prefer their memorial service to reach out to others that a funeral might be the only place they would ever hear the message of salvation.

Very good point! The families select the preacher, so they are aware of what he is like and probably what kind sermon he will preach. I've heard some people who said the gospel touched them at a funeral, and if it hadn't been for that, they probably would never have been reached.

 

[Ryder]

One funeral I am familiar with was officiated by the pastor of the church where the deceased lady was a member. The preacher used the opportunity to come down pretty hard on her 'wayward' son. This supremely irritated the son who was an alcoholic and I'm pretty sure he had a drink or two before the service.

Afterward, with several more drinks under his belt, he got his pistol and was in a mood to shoot the preacher. His brother was finally able to get the gun away from him and thus prevented the need to have another funeral for the preacher.

So those hellfire and brimstone sermons can go either way.

 

[Rafter S]

One funeral I am familiar with was officiated by the pastor of the church where the deceased lady was a member. The preacher used the opportunity to come down pretty hard on her 'wayward' son. This supremely irritated the son who was an alcoholic and I'm pretty sure he had a drink or two before the service.

Afterward, with several more drinks under his belt, he got his pistol and was in a mood to shoot the preacher. His brother was finally able to get the gun away from him and thus prevented the need to have another funeral for the preacher.

So those hellfire and brimstone sermons can go either way.

I'm going to call poor judgement on the pastor's part in that situation. His mother's funeral wasn't the time or place for that, but some people don't seem to understand that however good their motives are their approach to the problem can have the opposite effect from the one they want.

 

[herofan]

I'm sure the funerals are a reflection of their beliefs and how they worship at church. I know a lot of people who wouldn't give ten cents for a quiet, scripted funeral. The complainers are usually the ones who don't attend the family's type of church. I attended a funeral once where there wasn't what I would call a sermon from the preacher, but he just spoke a few words, then other people got up and talked, and then they came around for some bread and wine. Personally, I thought that was a strange service simply because it's not what I am accustomed to, but I'm sure it seemed perfectly normal to the family. So, I suppose it's just whatever one is accustomed to.