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Funeral Customs

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herofan

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The comments concerning the funeral in the other thread prompted me to post this. I have almost posted concerning how funeral customs have. Hanged in my area over the years. I was wondering if it was like this everywhere.

Years ago, I remember the family of the deceased was seated in a comfy area near the casket. Visitors would come by, view the body, and pass by the family and say something like "I'm sorry for your loss." Several people would remain at the funeral home for a while to show support.

These days, the family is standing by the casket, and they have to talk 5 or 10 minutes to every person who comes through. If there was a sickness, they have to share every detail with every person. As a visitor, it takes forever to get through. Anyone noticed this in your area?

It seems like crowds have gotten larger for some as well. I actually have seen the line out the door and down the sidewalk a few times. I don't know how a person could have that many "true" friends. On the other hand, some just gave a handful, and I often don't understand what makes the difference in crowd size.

Someone mentioned in the other thread that funerals may soon become a thing of the past, but I don't think it will happen soon where I live. They seem to be growing.
 

ALACOWMAN

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Back when I was a kid we had wakes,, the body was brought home,,and folks would come in..bring food a sit with the family ..can't remember when that stopped...
 

dun

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Haven;t been to a funeral in 30 years so don;t know. Around here they have "visitations". Have no idea how that works either cause I've never been to one.
 

cowgirl8

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My grandmother died in 2007. She prepared for her death after my grandfather died in 1984. She always thought she'd die before him, but when he died, she had her name put on the tombstone and the dates, 1913 19--, to be filled in upon her death..lol....she lived longer than she thought and it had to be fixed. For the last 20ish years of her life, she had all her funeral things packed in her closet with instructions on each thing. From what she'll wear, the makeup and a list of songs to be sung. I went with my mom to the funeral home to inspect her before the funeral....I dunno, I just always found this so bazaar... As a kid, we always made the cemetery rounds to put flowers on EVERYONE who ever died in our family. I wished I had paid more attention and listened, but I was a kid and wanted to do anything else rather than go to cemeteries.
My mom handed me a envelope and said to open it when I got home. It was a contract saying that her body goes to science. She said she wants no ceremony...My inlaws want the same, although my MIL wants us to go out to eat afterwards. I, when the time comes, just want to vanish, and if my kids want to do something, I guess they can get together and go out to eat...lol
 
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herofan

herofan

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dun":q0tolfhb said:
Haven;t been to a funeral in 30 years so don;t know. Around here they have "visitations". Have no idea how that works either cause I've never been to one.

Actually, I guess I used the wrong term and should have been more clear. All that I described above is part of the "visitation" and not the actual funeral.

I'm curious dun, have you been blessed and not had anyone die that you know in the last 30 years, or do you just not believe in the funeral process?
 

slick4591

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Caustic Burno":1klptzt0 said:
Still pretty customary here vistitation, service,procession and grave side.

That way up here, too. Here in the last ten years lots of people have opted out of a funeral and have just gone to a graveside service. The wife and I have forgone grave plots and opted for a memorial service since we will be cremated. But I remember as a kid there was always an elaborate visitation the night before the funeral. After the funeral and burial there was always a gigantic meal.
 

Jogeephus

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slick4591":3un0aund said:
Caustic Burno":3un0aund said:
Still pretty customary here vistitation, service,procession and grave side.

That way up here, too. Here in the last ten years lots of people have opted out of a funeral and have just gone to a graveside service. The wife and I have forgone grave plots and opted for a memorial service since we will be cremated. But I remember as a kid there was always an elaborate visitation the night before the funeral. After the funeral and burial there was always a gigantic meal.

That's how we do it to. Normally the night of the visitation there is also a private gathering of family. Food is often furnished by friends.

Herofan, I know what you mean about the long line. When done properly the family is on the other end of the casket so you people can flank off if someone gets to talkative. Last visitation I went to a very talkative daughter was positioned before the casket and it took forever to get past her and she jammed the whole works up.
 

Farm Fence Solutions

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I haven't been to my sisters grave in nearly 10 years. I don't even feel bad about it anymore, because I realized years ago that she isn't there. Keeping up with graves is a pain, and the people in them are dead. When I die, you all are invited to the party. My family has been given the instructions too torch me and get a few kegs and fire up the smoker. 1/4 of my ashes are my daughters to do with what she pleases. 1/4 of them are to be poured into the airboat prop at high speed on the river. 1/4 of them are to be dumped at sea under full sail. It'd be really cool if somebody would stick that last 1/4 between the powder and the ball in a moderately large cannon, but since I don't have any friends with a big cannon, I've settled on powdering up a pair of woolies with them and convincing one of my buddies to enter the bronc riding at the Daddy of em all. It ought to be a good party.
 

Craig Miller

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Yea it's ridiculous that we can't just let the family see us there and not have to actually talk to them. Maybe there should be a drive thru option. I don't know yet what my plans are. I think it is ridiculous to ask my family to keep up a grave. I also think that creations will become the mandatory norm in a few years time. The reason being that we can't keep taking up land just to bury somebody and then they occupy that space till eternity
 

SoILcattle

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Whatever is the cheapest option is what I will go with at the time, cremation or buried on my own ground. No ceremony, casket, or gravesite. If creamation they can do with my ashes what they wish, if buried the worms can have at it.
Once I am dead I have no use for this body, it blows my mind the extent people go to to "preserve" there body.
My brother and I mow and cemetery and there is another one on my parents property, never understood all the space taken up by cemeterys
 

Caustic Burno

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Craig Miller":3cwddypu said:
Yea it's ridiculous that we can't just let the family see us there and not have to actually talk to them. Maybe there should be a drive thru option. I don't know yet what my plans are. I think it is ridiculous to ask my family to keep up a grave. I also think that creations will become the mandatory norm in a few years time. The reason being that we can't keep taking up land just to bury somebody and then they occupy that space till eternity


I still keep up the family cemetery from the early 1800's .
 

Craig Miller

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Caustic Burno":30o5vm4x said:
Craig Miller":30o5vm4x said:
Yea it's ridiculous that we can't just let the family see us there and not have to actually talk to them. Maybe there should be a drive thru option. I don't know yet what my plans are. I think it is ridiculous to ask my family to keep up a grave. I also think that creations will become the mandatory norm in a few years time. The reason being that we can't keep taking up land just to bury somebody and then they occupy that space till eternity


I still keep up the family cemetery from the early 1800's .

Those people aren't cased in cement vaults and preserved forever. One day places like that will overgrown and be lost. Nobody will ever know it is there. Sorry but that's How it is and I think how it should be
 

Caustic Burno

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Craig Miller":ncbi437x said:
Caustic Burno":ncbi437x said:
Craig Miller":ncbi437x said:
Yea it's ridiculous that we can't just let the family see us there and not have to actually talk to them. Maybe there should be a drive thru option. I don't know yet what my plans are. I think it is ridiculous to ask my family to keep up a grave. I also think that creations will become the mandatory norm in a few years time. The reason being that we can't keep taking up land just to bury somebody and then they occupy that space till eternity


I still keep up the family cemetery from the early 1800's .

Those people aren't cased in cement vaults and preserved forever. One day places like that will overgrown and be lost. Nobody will ever know it is there. Sorry but that's How it is and I think how it should be

It's all about respect here.
 

Craig Miller

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Caustic Burno":scs5kfem said:
Craig Miller":scs5kfem said:
Caustic Burno":scs5kfem said:
I still keep up the family cemetery from the early 1800's .

Those people aren't cased in cement vaults and preserved forever. One day places like that will overgrown and be lost. Nobody will ever know it is there. Sorry but that's How it is and I think how it should be

It's all about respect here.
No disrespect to what you're doing. It's commendable.
 

jedstivers

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Lot of visitations are bigger now cause people can make them the night before but aren't able to get off work the day of the funeral.
"Here" depending on the person or the faimly there can be a pretty big drinking gathering the night after the funeral.
Can actually be several days of it too.
Lot of people want everyone to gather one last time and have smiles and good memories and not be crying over them.
Course "here" drinking is a pretty big part of life.
 

BK9954

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We still have a viewing. My family started a custom, having both my siblings die fairly young. We will not have a pastor lead the funeral. It doesnt seem very personal. My father opens and speaks then prays. He then opens the mic for ANYONE that wants to share memories of joyful experiences or how the deceased impacted their life. He starts with family. It is a real special emotional and enjoyable funeral. It gives us insight to the side of their life we didn't know. It can go for hours but I enjoy every moment of it. Let's you know how special that person was and how many people they helped. I will carry on that tradition after my Father passed away.
 

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