Favorite quotes

[kucala5]

"If it was easy, everyone would do it."


"Be the person your dog thinks you are."

 

[Rafter S]

If he told you a hen dipped snuff you can bet the hen has her garret under neath her wing.
From a book that was published by a professor in east Texas about sayings around east Texas.

That reminds me of something a former co-worker said once: "If I tell you a pizz ant can pull a freight train you go ahead and harness him up."

 

[shaz]

Couple of quotes from my Mom -
"It's a convection oven but I've never actually convected in it"
"This is like raking sh*t out of a bull's a$$ with a toothpick" - We were building fence at the time.
"I don't care if my last name was butt hole, by God I'd be Doctor Butthole"

 

[Caustic Burno]

An optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel.
The pessimist see a dark hole.
The realist sees a train.
The engineer sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

 

[sstterry]

That reminds me of something a former co-worker said once: "If I tell you a pizz ant can pull a freight train you go ahead and harness him up."

That reminds me of a saying around here, "He is so tight, he wouldn't pay a nickel to see a pizz ant eat a bale of hay"

 

[farmerjan]

Have to agree with @Jeanne - Simme Valley .... my mom always said "you have to eat a peck of dirt before you die." Totally agree with the overly "sanitary sterilized" environment..

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

 

[Dave]

Be the kind of neighbor that you would want and you will have them.

 

[Caustic Burno]

Have to agree with @Jeanne - Simme Valley .... my mom always said "you have to eat a peck of dirt before you die." Totally agree with the overly "sanitary sterilized" environment..

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

My mom had our attention as well. I can remember every time she said son "no use in changing my mind when I'm right. "That was always followed with a come to Jesus moment.
I am not sure today's children could survive our childhood.
Not all us did, you had to be tough. I can count on one hand how many times I went to the doctor.
There wasn't a fat girl or boy in my graduation class.
I didn't know you were supposed to eat beef till I was nearly grown. We ate out of the garden, woods and the bay.
You didn't sleep in growing up in our house, you were at the table fully dressed hair combed hands and face washed. At 7 am on the dot dad would fill his thermos give each of us a job.
You better be headed to that job before he got to the truck.
I hated most of all to hear the garden needed weeding.

 

[D2Cat]

I was going to post this on a thread like "joke of the day" or some humor thread but couldn't find one.

Have you been (or seen) a ballgame lately where the officials seems "blind"?


After a recent college basketball game, the coach spotted a cell phone lying on the floor. He picked it up and handed it to one of the referees, saying, "Here's your phone."
"What makes you think its mine?" the ref asked.
"Easy," the coach replied. "It says you missed 13 calls!"

 

[SmokinM]

Sounds like that phone was on the sidelines at the Super Bowl!

 

[BFE]

Matthew 6:34

If you want to fight, stick your head up your azz and fight for air-Dad

Momma says it beez dat way sometimes- Uncle Russ and Memphis wrestling manager Downtown Bruno

 

[WFfarm]

The hurryer I go, the behinder I get. - my Grandma

 

[WFfarm]

A place for everything, and everything in it's place.

 

[hurleyjd]

Not a favorite but seems appropriate here today. "Colder than a witch's tit in a brass brassiere."

 

[Named'em Tamed'em]

I thought the original saying was colder than a witches "tick", from the Salem Massachusetts old days.

 

[Son of Butch]

The grass is always greener over the septic tank. - Erma Bombeck

 

[SBMF 2015]

Not a favorite but seems appropriate here today. "Colder than a witch's tit in a brass brassiere."

Is that the same as "colder than a well diggers a$$" ?

 

[TexasBred]

I ain't wearing no mask. My check engine light has already come on and when my time comes nothing will stop it. It won't happen any sooner or any later.

heck no I'm not getting the covid vaccine until there has been much more testing done.

lololol. Guess who.

 

[Mrcopier]

If the cows are standing, the fish are biting.

I have no clue if that's legit, but it's a common quote around here. We get calls/texts all the time, asking if the cows are standing, from friends that want to fish the watershed.

I've always been told that and if you think about it animals react to the barameter so if cows are up and eating wouldn't fish? Goats? Almost anything?

 

[Mrcopier]

You pay for whatcha get in this world——-Mom