Farmers Wife

[cattle_gal]

And why do these guys marry women like this?? :roll:


Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a cattle farmer. One morning, before he goes out to the fields, the farmer says to her, "The artificial insemination man is coming to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four above the cow's stall. You show him where it is, okay?"

So the farmer leaves for the fields, and a while later, the artificial insemination man arrives. Amy takes him down the long row of cows until
she sees the nail, and tells him, "This is the one, this one right here!"

Terribly impressed by what seemed to be such a ditzy blonde, the man asks, "How did you know this is the cow to be bred?" By the nail over
it's stall,"Amy explains. Then the man asks, "What's the nail for?"

I guess it's to hang your pants on," she tells him, as she walks away.

 

[kjerckie]

:lol: Sent this one to work, will be sharing it all over the company tomorrow!

 

[Oldtimer]

Cattle_gal Heres how you can figure where you fit in the scheme .....


What's in a name? Apparently, a lot more than you (or
I) ever thought there was. Here's what his pet name
for you *really* means.....

Darling -- Depends on how he says it. If he stresses
the first syllable,then he's probably done something
wrong or wants money.

Dear -- Probably a leftover from his parents. Expect
him to wear woolly cardigans, smoke a pipe and prefer
a mug of Ovaltine to lager.

Sweetheart -- If it's said patronizingly, it's not so
sweet. But when uttered in earnest, it may send your
own sweet heart aflutter.

Babe -- Not to be confused with the film of the same
name. Check for flares or signs that he's a 70s
throwback. He's a bit of a medallion man. Chances are
he's got his initials on his chunky ring. Leave
immediately if he tries to sell you a second-hand car.

Baby doll -- This type of man will probably require
you to wear transparent frilly nighties even in the
dead of winter. He doesn't want you to grow up, and
obviously can't deal with real women.

Princess -- Never trust a man who calls you princess.
You may think you're being treated like royalty, but
beware of Prince Charmings - they may be secretly
plotting your over-throw.

Sexy -- Fine if you're sexy. If you're not, who cares?
He probably thinks you are anyway!!

My girlfriend -- He's honest, open and probably glad
to have you around. The next thing you know he'll be
using your name!

The wife -- If you're married then he probably thinks
he owns you. If you're not, he probably thinks you act
like his wife, in which case, he thinks he owns you.

My other half -- You complete the set - he's only half
a man without you. But it may make you feel as though
you are losing your identity somewhere.

The missus -- See The Wife.

My partner -- Probably likes eating
tofu and hugging trees.

My significant other --
Probably thinks it's cruel to eat tofu and that trees
need their own space.

 

[cattle_gal]

That's great kjerckie. I had jsut gotten it also via e-mail.

Oldtimer, I was the "other half" until he desided he didn't want another half. :shock: