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<blockquote data-quote="Jake" data-source="post: 8100" data-attributes="member: 4"><p>Grandma always talks about these things but it's amazing that she never complains</p><p> YOU MIGHT BE A FARMER'S WIFE... </p><p></p><p>If your name is taped to the side of a cakepan; </p><p>If you call the implement dealer and he recognizes your voice; </p><p>If the vet's number is on the speed dial of your phone; </p><p>If you know how to change the flat on your car, but can't because </p><p>the spare is on a flatbed; </p><p>If your second vehicle is still a pickup; </p><p>If the folks in the Emergency Room have a </p><p>pool going for your kids </p><p>and it involves the type of injury and </p><p>when it will occur; </p><p>If your husband has ever used field equipment to maintain your lawn; </p><p>If you're in the habit of buying foodstuffs in bulk; </p><p>If a "night out" involves the local 4-H </p><p>club; </p><p>If the word "auction" makes you tingle; </p><p>If you've ever washed your kids or the </p><p>dishes with a pressure washer; </p><p>If "picking rock" is considered a chance to get out of the house; </p><p>If "wild game" reminds you of dinner and not the bedroom; </p><p>If "a little bit of lunch" involves 6 courses and a dessert made from scratch; </p><p>If the "fresh ingredients" your recipe </p><p>calls for reminds you to do the chores; </p><p>If taking lunch to the field is as close </p><p>as you get to a picnic; </p><p>If that pail with a hole in it is a </p><p>flowerpot in the making; </p><p>If your rock garden was hand-picked; </p><p>If you can mend a pair of pants and the </p><p>fence that ripped them; </p><p>If you're on the lookout for new uses for "Jell-O"; </p><p>If the shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of filters, </p><p>tires, overalls, chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun shells; </p><p>If "Farm," "Ranch," "Country," "Cowboy" or </p><p>Antique" is in the </p><p>name of your favorite magazine; </p><p>If your tan lines are somewhere below your shoulder and above your elbow; </p><p>If "Lacey" or "Frilly" refers to a farm animal but not your nightgown; </p><p>If you ever went on a date to the rodeo; </p><p>If you've ever been grateful for fingernail polish, because it </p><p>hides the dirt under your nails; </p><p>If you've ever called your husband to supper, using a radio; </p><p>If you buy antiques because they match the </p><p>rest of your furniture; </p><p>If being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a seed corn dealer; </p><p>If your driveway is longer than a stone's throw; </p><p>If your mailbox looks like a piece of machinery; </p><p>If your kids' wading pool has ever doubled as a stock tank, or vice versa; </p><p>If the daily paper is always a day late; </p><p>If duct tape is always on your shopping list; </p><p>If the neighbor's house is best viewed with binoculars; </p><p>If the directions to your house include the words, "miles," silos," </p><p>"last," or "gravel road"; </p><p>If the tractor and the combine have air </p><p>conditioning and an FM radio but your car doesn't; </p><p>If your storage shed is a barn; </p><p>If you measure travel in miles not minutes; </p><p>If your farm equipment has the latest global positioning technology </p><p>and you still can't find your husband; </p><p>If you consider "hot dish" a food group; </p><p>If your husband says, "Can you help me for a few minutes?" and you </p><p>know that might be anywhere from a few minutes to six hours; </p><p>If you plan your vacations around farm shows; </p><p>If Eva Gabor is on your list of "Most Admired Persons"; </p><p>If grass stains are the least of your laundry problems; </p><p>If your refrigerator contains medicine, livestock medicine; </p><p>If your car's color is two-toned and one color is gravel road brown; </p><p>If you knew everyone in your high school; </p><p>If you've ever grown your own wall decorations; </p><p>If you've entertained the romantic notion of living in an old, </p><p>country farmhouse with a fireplace, but </p><p>gave it up because </p><p>firsthand </p><p>experience tells you that it's cold, </p><p>drafty, smoky and sooty; </p><p>If you use newspapers to help keep the </p><p>kitchen floor clean; </p><p>If you've ever said, "Oh, it's only a little mud."; </p><p>If you need a pair of vice grips to run a </p><p>household appliance; </p><p>If your husband gave you flowers, but you </p><p>had to plant the seeds yourself; </p><p>If you've used the loader to reach the </p><p>windows when they needed washing; </p><p>If you've ever used a broom to shoo a critter; </p><p>If you've ever discovered a batch of </p><p>kittens in your laundry basket; </p><p>If dinner is at noon and lunch is before and after dinner; </p><p>If you don't need the recipe to make Rice Krispies bars; </p><p>If you shovel the sidewalk, with a skidsteer loader; </p><p>If you can find a use for that old tractor seat; </p><p>If you've ever found mice in the underwear drawer; </p><p>If quality time with your hubby means </p><p>a beer in one hand and a wrench in the other; </p><p>If you know the difference between field </p><p>corn and sweet corn; </p><p>If family "pets" include deer, coons, </p><p>squirrels, foxes or birds; </p><p>If you can make a meal that can be ready </p><p>in six minutes and will </p><p>still be ready in two hours; </p><p>If your basement is really a cellar; </p><p>If "sharing a cab" has nothing to do with </p><p>a taxi and everything to do </p><p>with getting across the field; </p><p>If your job in town is considered a farm </p><p> subsidy!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jake, post: 8100, member: 4"] Grandma always talks about these things but it's amazing that she never complains YOU MIGHT BE A FARMER'S WIFE... If your name is taped to the side of a cakepan; If you call the implement dealer and he recognizes your voice; If the vet's number is on the speed dial of your phone; If you know how to change the flat on your car, but can't because the spare is on a flatbed; If your second vehicle is still a pickup; If the folks in the Emergency Room have a pool going for your kids and it involves the type of injury and when it will occur; If your husband has ever used field equipment to maintain your lawn; If you're in the habit of buying foodstuffs in bulk; If a "night out" involves the local 4-H club; If the word "auction" makes you tingle; If you've ever washed your kids or the dishes with a pressure washer; If "picking rock" is considered a chance to get out of the house; If "wild game" reminds you of dinner and not the bedroom; If "a little bit of lunch" involves 6 courses and a dessert made from scratch; If the "fresh ingredients" your recipe calls for reminds you to do the chores; If taking lunch to the field is as close as you get to a picnic; If that pail with a hole in it is a flowerpot in the making; If your rock garden was hand-picked; If you can mend a pair of pants and the fence that ripped them; If you're on the lookout for new uses for "Jell-O"; If the shopping list in your purse includes the sizes of filters, tires, overalls, chains, belts, lights, cables, spark plugs or shotgun shells; If "Farm," "Ranch," "Country," "Cowboy" or Antique" is in the name of your favorite magazine; If your tan lines are somewhere below your shoulder and above your elbow; If "Lacey" or "Frilly" refers to a farm animal but not your nightgown; If you ever went on a date to the rodeo; If you've ever been grateful for fingernail polish, because it hides the dirt under your nails; If you've ever called your husband to supper, using a radio; If you buy antiques because they match the rest of your furniture; If being taken out to dinner has ever included a talk by a seed corn dealer; If your driveway is longer than a stone's throw; If your mailbox looks like a piece of machinery; If your kids' wading pool has ever doubled as a stock tank, or vice versa; If the daily paper is always a day late; If duct tape is always on your shopping list; If the neighbor's house is best viewed with binoculars; If the directions to your house include the words, "miles," silos," "last," or "gravel road"; If the tractor and the combine have air conditioning and an FM radio but your car doesn't; If your storage shed is a barn; If you measure travel in miles not minutes; If your farm equipment has the latest global positioning technology and you still can't find your husband; If you consider "hot dish" a food group; If your husband says, "Can you help me for a few minutes?" and you know that might be anywhere from a few minutes to six hours; If you plan your vacations around farm shows; If Eva Gabor is on your list of "Most Admired Persons"; If grass stains are the least of your laundry problems; If your refrigerator contains medicine, livestock medicine; If your car's color is two-toned and one color is gravel road brown; If you knew everyone in your high school; If you've ever grown your own wall decorations; If you've entertained the romantic notion of living in an old, country farmhouse with a fireplace, but gave it up because firsthand experience tells you that it's cold, drafty, smoky and sooty; If you use newspapers to help keep the kitchen floor clean; If you've ever said, "Oh, it's only a little mud."; If you need a pair of vice grips to run a household appliance; If your husband gave you flowers, but you had to plant the seeds yourself; If you've used the loader to reach the windows when they needed washing; If you've ever used a broom to shoo a critter; If you've ever discovered a batch of kittens in your laundry basket; If dinner is at noon and lunch is before and after dinner; If you don't need the recipe to make Rice Krispies bars; If you shovel the sidewalk, with a skidsteer loader; If you can find a use for that old tractor seat; If you've ever found mice in the underwear drawer; If quality time with your hubby means a beer in one hand and a wrench in the other; If you know the difference between field corn and sweet corn; If family "pets" include deer, coons, squirrels, foxes or birds; If you can make a meal that can be ready in six minutes and will still be ready in two hours; If your basement is really a cellar; If "sharing a cab" has nothing to do with a taxi and everything to do with getting across the field; If your job in town is considered a farm subsidy! [/QUOTE]
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