Engagement gift ?

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hillsdown

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My best friend from 15 years ago recently got engaged and they are having an engagement party. Do you bring a gift and what kind of gift.
This must be a new thing having an engagement party as we didn't do that when I got engaged. She was a bridesmaid for me 15 yrs ago and then she moved from Toronto then to New York and we lost touch, and haven't really spoken since a couple months ago for 10 years.
Her and her fiance reside in San Francisco and she is a fashion designer so I really am at a loss for a gift.
The party will be held at her parents farm which is only a few mile from us but they will have to take all the gifts (if you give one) home with them on a plane.

So do you give a gift now as well as when they actually get married ???
 

showing71

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Speaking from getting recently engaged and married and having to haul presents all over, I'd give her cash in a card. That way you don't have to guess what she wants or needs (unless they have a registry set up somewhere, and then I'd make sure to get her what's listed on that), and I wouldn't give her a lot, save that for the actual wedding.
 

backhoeboogie

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If you have a neat tool or item you use and really like, you might consider giving her one of those is its appropriate. Just buy it from a store close to where she lives and have it delivered there.
 
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hillsdown

hillsdown

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I am scared to even look at her registry . I can just imagine how much something would cost if I had to order from a store in San Francisco.The last wedding we attended their registry did not have an item checked that was under $500.00 .. That really p'od me and I almost gave them nothing at all.. :lol2:

I guess I will have to just give her American money. I sure don't want to look cheap and she did alot for me when she was my bridesmaid, she even designed and made the dresses for me .

I guess I just think it's odd to have an engagement party when you have been living together for the last 4 years.. :? But maybe that is how the elite do it.. ;-)

Thanks everyone.

Bez, you are probably right. I am sure she would be happy just to get together again as we haven't seen each other in 11 years and she was my dearest friend a long time ago but I do not think that she would have changed that much and I know her parents were the sweetest people as well. Her mom was a real doll .
 

Bez+

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hillsdown":qbxn420o said:
I am scared to even look at her registry . I can just imagine how much something would cost if I had to order from a store in San Francisco.The last wedding we attended their registry did not have an item checked that was under $500.00 .. That really p'od me and I almost gave them nothing at all.. :lol2:

I guess I will have to just give her American money. I sure don't want to look cheap and she did alot for me when she was my bridesmaid, she even designed and made the dresses for me .

I guess I just think it's odd to have an engagement party when you have been living together for the last 4 years.. :? But maybe that is how the elite do it.. ;-)

Thanks everyone.

Bez, you are probably right. I am sure she would be happy just to get together again as we haven't seen each other in 11 years and she was my dearest friend a long time ago but I do not think that she would have changed that much and I know her parents were the sweetest people as well. Her mom was a real doll .

My friends do not think of our friendship in dollars - if they did I would not be their friend.

Go with your head held high - your present is your presence!

Cheers

Bez+
 

Auburn_Ag

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I bought my sister a pistal to keep in her purse and told her if she let her soon to be husband have it, that I would take it away from her and beat her with it. I know that may sound rough or even red neck but, she was having to start traveling alot and he is another story.

Being recently married, we did not have a Engagement party, we just had the traditional wedding showers
 

Lammie

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I may be wrong here, but I think that some people just look for ways to get other people to buy them crap or give them money. It's one thing for a wedding but for an engagement? Isn't that double the gifts? And a lot of these folks just want money. It's kinda greedy, if you ask me. If I were going to have an engagement party, I don't think I'd expect anyone to buy gifts. I'd just want to celebrate that we are getting married.
 

MistyMorning

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Lammie":sjvhgbbe said:
I may be wrong here, but I think that some people just look for ways to get other people to buy them crap or give them money. It's one thing for a wedding but for an engagement? Isn't that double the gifts? And a lot of these folks just want money. It's kinda greedy, if you ask me. If I were going to have an engagement party, I don't think I'd expect anyone to buy gifts. I'd just want to celebrate that we are getting married.

Absolutely spot on Lammie. Proper etiquette does NOT require a gift for an engagement party. A card will suffice.
 
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hillsdown

hillsdown

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I know and that is what I think but I do not want to look cheap. It's kind of hard to know what is acceptable as we haven't spoke in 10 years up until a few months ago.

I feel really bad for not trying to stay in touch but she didn't either. Now I just do not know, and I do not want to seem as a cheap country hick even though I was the city girl and her the country girl back when we first became friends.

I am over thinking again.........

I am the same person 15 years ago that I am now except more compassionate and evolved I am sure she is as well ,I don't think I am that bad of a judge in character.
 

3waycross

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Your character is the only one that really matters. I personally have never heard of giving a gift for an engagement party. Just offer to do as much as you can for her for the wedding and call it good.

Just my 2 cents. I am really with Lammie on this one.
 

peg4x4

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Is this a party to celebrate the engagement? Mabe that's all she wants,to get together with old friends,have some laughs and eat teenytinny sandwichs... Perhaps call her folks and ask what you should bring.... Mabe a salad.
 
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hillsdown

hillsdown

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peg4x4":2bl587tx said:
Is this a party to celebrate the engagement? Mabe that's all she wants,to get together with old friends,have some laughs and eat teenytinny sandwichs... Perhaps call her folks and ask what you should bring.... Mabe a salad.


Oh my Peg, that is exactly what they asked us to bring... :lol2:
 

GMN

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hillsdown":h610r53n said:
peg4x4":h610r53n said:
Is this a party to celebrate the engagement? Mabe that's all she wants,to get together with old friends,have some laughs and eat teenytinny sandwichs... Perhaps call her folks and ask what you should bring.... Mabe a salad.


Oh my Peg, that is exactly what they asked us to bring... :lol2:

If they are asking people to bring a dish to pass sounds like a casual party, and maybe just a card would suffice.

GMN
 

peg4x4

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Now to decide-tuna? Guacomolie? (the stuff with alvacados) Mabe one of those 5 lettesses things with 3 colored bell peppers?
 

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