Empty nesters????

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saltbranch

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How do you handle it? My kids are 16/17 and I find myself lost in things to discuss with my wife when we are alone. Life is so busy with bills, the boys, school, work... Then plan a weekend away and you can hear crickets on the way out of town. I love my wife,but its almost like we have become business partners.
Her B-day is coming and I have agreed going to watch a play, not my first choice. Ok you old farts, how did you deal with it?
 
saltbranch":kanmeobf said:
How do you handle it? My kids are 16/17 and I find myself lost in things to discuss with my wife when we are alone. Life is so busy with bills, the boys, school, work... Then plan a weekend away and you can hear crickets on the way out of town. I love my wife,but its almost like we have become business partners.
Her B-day is coming and I have agreed going to watch a play, not my first choice. Ok you old farts, how did you deal with it?
Click to expand...

Trust me - at first it is difficult - then it becomes heaven.

Much as I love my kids - I love to see them come to visit and I definitely love to see them leave.

It is your job to prep them for life and it means you truly do need to kick them out into the brave new world.

Oh, they will be back - do not worry - and they might be back with a male or female partner, or wife and husband and kids and all the other stuff - and then you will be paying even more!

As for being an old fart? Well I am now a new man and politically correct - so I will tell you that I am not an old fart - I am simply educated in the ways of life - and you are still an innocent no matter how smart you think you are! LOL

As for your wife - if you want to keep her then you better start paying attention to her - get her out of that shack and try some new things in life - you might actually enjoy that play if you open your mind to it.

Maybe both of you should take flying lessons or go to the beach and take surfing lessons.

Life is a box full of experiences - if you do not go and seek a few new ones you will become a boring old man - and no one likes a boring old man.

Make a point to try at least one new thing a week - if you run out of ideas try going to the library and reading a few adventure books - plenty of ideas can be found there.

You can only get stale if you allow yourself get stale. And if that happens - look in the mirror to find the person who is to blame!

Cheers

Bez
 
saltbranch":wnkc00n9 said:
.Her B-day is coming and I have agreed going to watch a play, not my first choice.
Click to expand...
That's your problem right there. If you want a connection you need to be willing to bend her way some without thinking about yourself. Once you do that for her you'll find she has a lot to talk about and you'd probably be surprised how much of it pertains to you but you have to act like you want to hear it. :D It won't be plays all the time, the play is just an ideal that hasn't been met to date, the same as if you wanted her to go do something special that you know she won't enjoy... She needs to see that you're willing to go do something just because it makes her happy.
I'm not an old fart yet and my kids are still young but I pushed my luck right up to the breaking point before I figured it out. It sounds to me like she wants you to care about what she wants.
 
When I was younger and single I was very good at what I did. The thing that worked the best was simple.
Keep them laughing and act like you actually care about whatever it is they are talking about.
Humor and attention.
Don't know but I bet it won't hurt.
 
My wife and I are going speck fishing tomorrow does that count. It does for her and that's what matters to me. Business partners I don't know about that. But my best friend just happens to be my wife. And something else I do is open the door for her, and tell her that I love her most every day. Works good for me, hope you get it figured out.
 
saltbranch":jp97sdks said:
How do you handle it? My kids are 16/17 and I find myself lost in things to discuss with my wife when we are alone. Life is so busy with bills, the boys, school, work... Then plan a weekend away and you can hear crickets on the way out of town. I love my wife,but its almost like we have become business partners.
Her B-day is coming and I have agreed going to watch a play, not my first choice. Ok you old farts, how did you deal with it?
Click to expand...

We stay on a dead run I don't know how we had time for the kids.
Play a lot of domino's with friends, go to lot's of county western jamborees this always involves a nice meal.
I usually cook on Sunday's after church I let her pick the restaurant I am cooking at.
Spend lots of evenings on the screened in back porch watching her birds and talking, Lord only knows how much it cost me to feed the little devils. Seems like most every other weekend I am attending some kind of grand kid event and usually hauling one of the little angels home.
Then I can't wait until their parents come and pick the little devil up. Then there is hunting and fishing with the grand kids, they hunt and fish. This means a huge grocery bill as Granny is cooking whatever favorite the little varmit wants. I have went to buy cows several times and came home with the trailer loaded with antiques. Just smile and load them and enjoy the ride.
It is a good time in life.
 
Like Bez said, it's hard at first bit after a while it becomes heaven. My biggest trouble was soon after my boys moved out I could see them headed for, one of many " life mistakes". They found their independence and stopped listening to dads advice, I had to just accept they're going to have to walk their own path and live with it. But when they got to their mid 20's they started coming back for dads advice. As Bez said, I love to see them come visit and love to see them leave.

As far as the play goes, my wife will do that kind of thing every once in a while. She just wants to try something new and thankfully it usually only once.

JMO, when your last boy moves out for college or life on his own, take a cruise. Splurge for a room with a balcony, set in the sun on the water read and spend time together. Always something going on somewhere on the ship ........ And free ice cream!
 
jedstivers":3330x63h said:
When I was younger and single I was very good at what I did. The thing that worked the best was simple.
Keep them laughing and act like you actually care about whatever it is they are talking about.
Humor and attention.
Don't know but I bet it won't hurt.
Click to expand...
It also helps if "SHE" remembers she's half of this couple and makes a few adjustments on her end to add to the fun and enjoyment of life . It still takes "2".
 
We were enjoying it a lot until we had to move the youngest one back home. However the way this is going he won't be here long. I would love to get back to living with my girlfriend again.
 
Love her more than you love yourself. Everything else will magically fall into place.
 
When our kids left home there were lots of tears and now after all these years by ourselves there would be many more tears if they were to come back home again, but it would be for a whole different reason. :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
 

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