Divorce questions

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saltbranch

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I am 48, been married 24 years. This last year has been tough on both of us as we dont get along. Everything turns into an argument, now pretty much daily. In my mind, we have hit the point of cutting each other loose. I am tired of this crap and worked to hard for things to lose it in a divorce. We have a business together, which she works at as I still work a time card job. The business we share, the cattle I have, the trailers/trucks are all in my name. I am going to start selling trucks and trailers and paying off bills, until she balks at it.. I suppose I should liquidate the cattle..its only like 20 head in my name. Land is still in my fathers name. For those thats been there done that...any advice? Not interested in counselors and all that, strictly advice towards divorce as I am pretty much done.. I am in Texas for reference and our kids or 20 plus years old. Thx
 
If you each get legal counsel, in the end, it comes to dividing what is left after the debts are subtracted from assets. It does not matter whose name property is in. They all add up to assets less debts unless there was a prenuptial agreement. Even retirement accounts regardless whose name they are in. The fundamental rule is you subtract debts from assets and then sort out the assets so that each party gets an equal share. If children are involved, then custody and maintenance of the children will need to be decided.
 
Been there and done that. No minor age children makes it easier. You have already made the decision and seem to be on the right track in paying off debts. I would start paying off the small stuff especially if it is in my name, however, you can be made to pay off the joint stuff also through the distribution.
Probably will not help now, but trust me it does get easier. I just decided life is too short to be miserable.
 
GAonmymind":31p2t8l6 said:
Been there and done that. No minor age children makes it easier. You have already made the decision and seem to be on the right track in paying off debts. I would start paying off the small stuff especially if it is in my name, however, you can be made to pay off the joint stuff also through the distribution.
Probably will not help now, but trust me it does get easier. I just decided life is too short to be miserable.
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Pay the joint stuff first or any thing that he is co-signed on. It's one thing to pay debt with your name on it. It's another to have to pay because you co-signed. Court orders are no good on that. Your name is still on the bebt and at the end of the day no court order can make some one pay. ;-)
 
If you can agree on how to split the assets and debts without help from a lawyer do it. Lawyers will end up costing you both money by eating up assets. If you have to lawyer up get the best one you can. It seems to lawyers will just keep stirring the pot so they can charge more. If you can agree quickly that is fine but if you have to take some time to figure out what is fair that will work too.
 
Been divorced twice....can only offer advice on the other side, don't rush into another marriage. You say I do,,,she'll make you wish you didn't...that ring seems to transform them to a individual you didn't know existed....
 
saltbranch":84uivh29 said:
I am 48, been married 24 years. This last year has been tough on both of us as we dont get along. Everything turns into an argument, now pretty much daily. In my mind, we have hit the point of cutting each other loose. I am tired of this crap and worked to hard for things to lose it in a divorce. We have a business together, which she works at as I still work a time card job. The business we share, the cattle I have, the trailers/trucks are all in my name. I am going to start selling trucks and trailers and paying off bills, until she balks at it.. I suppose I should liquidate the cattle..its only like 20 head in my name. Land is still in my fathers name. For those thats been there done that...any advice? Not interested in counselors and all that, strictly advice towards divorce as I am pretty much done.. I am in Texas for reference and our kids or 20 plus years old. Thx
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What is the argument about sometimes you need to look objectively at life at times. Is the trucks trailers and cattle actual making any money for you or costing you. There is life after cows and trucks and trailers. Next question have you also found a little action outside of marriage. Just separate for six months and see where you are at that time. There is something called mid live crisis and you are at the age that this occurs. Are you constantly at the fathers place with your cows and helping him sometimes this makes a marriage difficult. Not offering any advice I have seen young people in my area work together to have something and then the big D shows up and they have to buy the farm again. Marriage is a give and take situation and this takes some effort on both parties . Also get your divorce and then marry again get another failing at marriage makes you presidential material.
 
Sell as much as you can and hide the cash, get a good lawyer, don't put this shyt on the internet.
 
Sorry you're going thru this.

Yes, Texas is a community property state. That pretty much means that EVERYTHING acquired while you were married belongs to both. The "in my name" doesn't mean squat unless it was acquired before you were married. Do not liquidate and hide anything as you will most certainly regret it if there's a judge deciding property division. The better way to go is to sit down and come to an agreement you can both agree to. From personal experience I can tell you a mutual agreement is the way to go. That way you only have to hire one lawyer to get the paperwork in order. All the fighting that goes on only makes the lawyers more money.
 
slick4591":2owcagcx said:
Sorry you're going thru this.

Yes, Texas is a community property state. That pretty much means that EVERYTHING acquired while you were married belongs to both. The "in my name" doesn't mean squat unless it was acquired before you were married. Do not liquidate and hide anything as you will most certainly regret it if there's a judge deciding property division. The better way to go is to sit down and come to an agreement you can both agree to. From personal experience I can tell you a mutual agreement is the way to go. That way you only have to hire one lawyer to get the paperwork in order. All the fighting that goes on only makes the lawyers more money.
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You very much nailed it. Dividing the business could get sticky.
 
I really have no experience in divorcees. So do not pay any attention to my thoughts. I have been married to the same woman for 56 years. She has always defended me and helped me in any thing that I would tackle and I would her. Sure we had a few hard bumps but nothing we could not get past. She told me last week when everything that I was trying to use to bale hay was acting up and breaking that I might look at the problems as an omen and get out of the cow business. I think she is right and I am really looking seriously at doing it. 77 years old and I can not seem to get anything done any more. Spend to much time on this forum reading about you-all's accomplishments and failures.
 
saltbranch":36w8qqgc said:
I am 48, been married 24 years. This last year has been tough on both of us as we dont get along. Everything turns into an argument, now pretty much daily. In my mind, we have hit the point of cutting each other loose. I am tired of this crap and worked to hard for things to lose it in a divorce. We have a business together, which she works at as I still work a time card job. The business we share, the cattle I have, the trailers/trucks are all in my name. I am going to start selling trucks and trailers and paying off bills, until she balks at it.. I suppose I should liquidate the cattle..its only like 20 head in my name. Land is still in my fathers name. For those thats been there done that...any advice? Not interested in counselors and all that, strictly advice towards divorce as I am pretty much done.. I am in Texas for reference and our kids or 20 plus years old. Thx
Click to expand...
You're in Texas, a community property state. Buy sell or trade all you want......Have of everything acquired while you've been married belongs to her. Land is still your dads..........counselors are only good if both of you are willing to make changes. Hope everything works out for you.
 
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