Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking (about it) and
vote that way. If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, however, there are some
prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate...
1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal funding.
2. You have to believe that the same school system that can't teach 4th
graders how to read is somehow the best qualified to teach those same kids all
about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are
more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese
communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical,
documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving
SUVs'!
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual
is natural
7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists from Seattle do.
10 You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing
something to earn it.
11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of
the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of
the constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or
Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas
and set-asides aren't.
16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is all about "progress" and not power.
She just wants to help us out of the archaic system of governing that we've
been subject to.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere
it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a
liar and sex offender belongs in the White House and you would vote him back in
there in a New York minute (if you could).
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites
and beastiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at
Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese
is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
21. You have to believe that the vociferous minorities who protest against
prayer and saluting the flag in school have far more rights than the majority
who believe in God and country and want these values to be instilled in our
young children
If you are locked in solidly to most of these beliefs -- you're gonna be a big
asset to John Kerry
vote that way. If you want to be a GOOD Democrat, however, there are some
prerequisites you must have first. Compare the below and see how you rate...
1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of Federal funding.
2. You have to believe that the same school system that can't teach 4th
graders how to read is somehow the best qualified to teach those same kids all
about sex.
3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are
more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese
communists.
4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical,
documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving
SUVs'!
6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual
is natural
7. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
8. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments
create prosperity.
9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
activists from Seattle do.
10 You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing
something to earn it.
11. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
12. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of
the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of
the constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee or
Thomas Edison.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas
and set-asides aren't.
16. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is all about "progress" and not power.
She just wants to help us out of the archaic system of governing that we've
been subject to.
17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere
it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.
18. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a
liar and sex offender belongs in the White House and you would vote him back in
there in a New York minute (if you could).
19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites
and beastiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at
Christmas should be illegal.
20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese
is somehow in the best interest of the United States.
21. You have to believe that the vociferous minorities who protest against
prayer and saluting the flag in school have far more rights than the majority
who believe in God and country and want these values to be instilled in our
young children
If you are locked in solidly to most of these beliefs -- you're gonna be a big
asset to John Kerry
