This morning on the Interstate,
>
> I looked over to my
> left and there was a
>
> woman
>
> in a brand new
>
> Cadillac
>
> doing 65 mph
>
> with her
> face up next to her
>
> rear view mirror
>
> putting on her eyeliner.
>
>
> I looked away
>
> for a couple seconds
>
> and when I looked back she was
>
>
> halfway over in my lane,
>
> still working on that makeup.
>
>
> As a man,
>
> I don't scare easily.
>
> But she scared me so much;
>
> I dropped
> my electric shaver,
>
> which knocked
>
> the donut
>
> out of my other hand.
>
> In all
> the confusion of trying
>
> to straighten out the car
>
> using my knees against
> the steering wheel,
>
> it knocked
>
> my cell phone
>
> away from my ear
>
> which fell
>
>
> into the coffee
>
> between my legs,
>
> splashed,
>
> and burned
>
> Big Jim and the Twins,
>
> ruined the damn phone,
>
> soaked my trousers,
>
> and disconnected an
> important call.
>
>
> Dam women drivers
>
> I looked over to my
> left and there was a
>
> woman
>
> in a brand new
>
> Cadillac
>
> doing 65 mph
>
> with her
> face up next to her
>
> rear view mirror
>
> putting on her eyeliner.
>
>
> I looked away
>
> for a couple seconds
>
> and when I looked back she was
>
>
> halfway over in my lane,
>
> still working on that makeup.
>
>
> As a man,
>
> I don't scare easily.
>
> But she scared me so much;
>
> I dropped
> my electric shaver,
>
> which knocked
>
> the donut
>
> out of my other hand.
>
> In all
> the confusion of trying
>
> to straighten out the car
>
> using my knees against
> the steering wheel,
>
> it knocked
>
> my cell phone
>
> away from my ear
>
> which fell
>
>
> into the coffee
>
> between my legs,
>
> splashed,
>
> and burned
>
> Big Jim and the Twins,
>
> ruined the damn phone,
>
> soaked my trousers,
>
> and disconnected an
> important call.
>
>
> Dam women drivers
