Daily Chuckle
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Travlr
Well-known member
A woman decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.
She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.
She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
"But I didn't use them."
'Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous. "We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here."
"But I didn't go to any of those shows.."
"Well, we have them, and you could have."
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.
After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.
"But Madam, this check is for only $50.00"
"That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me."
"But I didn't!"
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"
The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.
She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."
"But I didn't use them."
'Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous. "We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here."
"But I didn't go to any of those shows.."
"Well, we have them, and you could have."
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.
After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.
"But Madam, this check is for only $50.00"
"That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me."
"But I didn't!"
"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."
Named'em Tamed'em
Well-known member
Mrcopier
Well-known member
Love the accent
coachg
Well-known member
For some reason I thought this was funny . Slow week I guess ? 
coachg
Well-known member
coachg
Well-known member
Rafter S
Well-known member
SmokinM
Well-known member
Wow, imagine that a guy getting that lucky twice in a week!
Rafter S
Well-known member
Wow, imagine that a guy getting that lucky twice in a week!
. . . and a few years later being flat broke, and saying "Man, it was worth it!"
greybeard
Well-known member
And they say money can't buy happiness.........
Rafter S
Well-known member
And they say money can't buy happiness.........
. . . but with enough money you can rent it for a while.
hurleyjd
Well-known member
They were burying this rich person. His wishes were to be buried in the most expensive Rolls Royce and it happened . A good old boy leaned over and whispered in his buddies ear "Now that is living".
greybeard
Well-known member
2 Marines, one an old E9 Sgt and the other a young L/Cpl are stuck in a motel in downtown Memphis decades ago awaiting a flight out to Lejuene and then on to Danang RVN and they inquire with a busboy about getting some 'adult companionship'. Busboy replies he can arrainge it and about an hour later, knock on the door and a rather large mid aged women appears and says "$20 each". The young L/cpl says "Lady, you'll have to pay us a lot more than that" but the old MGySgt is not nearly so particular, interrupts and quickly pulls out a Jackson..
A group of four friends, a doctor, a lawyer, a pastor and a veterinarian had an agreement that when they died that the remaining ones would slip $1000 into his casket to be buried with the first one to go.
The veterinarian died first and after the funeral the remaining three when out for a beer in their deceased friends honor. While reminiscing about their friend, the pastor said, I have a confession to make. I did not put $1000 into the casket because I thought of all the good it could do to help the poor and needy. The doctor spoke up and said, I did not put the $1000 in either because I thought of all of the sick people it could help.
The lawyer was indignant. He said this was an agreement we had for years, and I can't believe you would violate our oath with our friend. The other two sheepishly asked, so you put $1000 in? The lawyer said your damn right I did. I put my personal check for $1000 in just as they closed him up.
The veterinarian died first and after the funeral the remaining three when out for a beer in their deceased friends honor. While reminiscing about their friend, the pastor said, I have a confession to make. I did not put $1000 into the casket because I thought of all the good it could do to help the poor and needy. The doctor spoke up and said, I did not put the $1000 in either because I thought of all of the sick people it could help.
The lawyer was indignant. He said this was an agreement we had for years, and I can't believe you would violate our oath with our friend. The other two sheepishly asked, so you put $1000 in? The lawyer said your damn right I did. I put my personal check for $1000 in just as they closed him up.
Dave
Well-known member
My friend who did win the lottery told me, "money can't buy happiness but it can rent some first class affection."And they say money can't buy happiness.........
Nesikep
Well-known member
Son of Butch
Well-known member
Ouch.... too soon
p.s.
Chauvin 44 was sentenced to 22 1/2 years in July 2022.
Lane 36 pled guilty in exchange for 3 year sentence with 2 yrs to be served in a minimum security prison, 6 months home monitoring and 6 months suspended,
to run concurrently with like federal sentence.
Kueng 26 and Thao 34 turned down the 3 year plea deal that Lane accepted and received 3 1/2 and 3 year sentences and in addition are now scheduled for trial in October on the federal charges.
p.s.
Chauvin 44 was sentenced to 22 1/2 years in July 2022.
Lane 36 pled guilty in exchange for 3 year sentence with 2 yrs to be served in a minimum security prison, 6 months home monitoring and 6 months suspended,
to run concurrently with like federal sentence.
Kueng 26 and Thao 34 turned down the 3 year plea deal that Lane accepted and received 3 1/2 and 3 year sentences and in addition are now scheduled for trial in October on the federal charges.
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