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A True Story .... Carnation Milk
When opening a can of carnation evaporated milk for your recipes just smile and think of this:
A little old lady from North Carolina had worked in and around her family's dairy farm since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard work and little compensation…
So when canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores, she read an advertisement offering $5000 for the best slogan/rhyme beginning with "Carnation milk is best of all ...."
She said to herself " I know all about milking cows and dairy farms… I can do this!"
She sent in her entry, and about a week later, a black limo drove up in front of her house… A man got out and said, "Carnation LOVED your entry so much, we are here to award you $1000, even though we WILL NOT Be able to use it...
Here is her entry

Carnation Milk is best of all,
No tits to pull,
No hay to haul,
No buckets to wash,
No $#!+ to pitch,
Just poke a hole
In the Son-of-a-*****
😂
😂
😂
I heard it a little different.
Carnation milk
Best in the land
Comes to you in a little red can
No tits to pull
No hay to pitch
All you have to do is
OPEN THE SOB
 
main-qimg-15df90195d40af67341f7825ccda8793-pjlq

I recently spent $16,500 on this registered Black Angus bull.

I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.

I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.

Anyway......I had the Vet come and take a look at him.

He said,, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.

The bull started to service the cows within two days……. all my cows!

He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!

I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ...

... but they kind of taste like peppermint. :)
 
main-qimg-15df90195d40af67341f7825ccda8793-pjlq

I recently spent $16,500 on this registered Black Angus bull.

I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.

I was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth.

Anyway......I had the Vet come and take a look at him.

He said,, the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day.

The bull started to service the cows within two days……. all my cows!

He even broke through the fence and bred with all of my neighbor's cows! He's like a machine!

I don't know what was in the pills the Vet gave him ...

... but they kind of taste like peppermint. :)
Thats a knee slapper right there!

🙂🤣🙂🤣
 
I'm guessing her intellect wasn't what you found attractive?
I loved her and married her because she was a riot, and made me laugh. I was a bit naive; took me 5 years to realize while I was on the road, she was making other guys laugh too:ROFLMAO:.

I still love her, just differently. She's the mother of my first child. We get along fine.
 
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In her defense.... She was under pressure and Popeye's Fried Chicken was the
1st thing that popped into her mind, with 3,000+ locations very understandable.
The cartoon was long before she was born.

Spinach was the food that gave Popeye strength. Yams might have been his favorite.
Popeye "I yam what I yam." .... hmm... if you are what you eat..... :)

p.s.
Popeyes fried chicken is overrated, but haven't had it in 10 yrs maybe it improved.
 
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In her defense.... She was under pressure and Popeye's Fried Chicken was the
1st thing that popped into her mind, with 3,000+ locations very understandable.
The cartoon was long before she was born.

Spinach was the food that gave Popeye strength. Yams might have been his favorite.
Popeye "I yam what I yam." .... hmm... if you are what you eat..... :)

p.s.
Popeyes fried chicken is overrated, but haven't had it in 10 yrs maybe it improved.
I'm not making fun of her. She does look like fun (in small doses). I don't care if her favorite is chicken, spinach, or yams. Maybe all three would be easier though
 

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