Daily Chuckle

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Things are getting out of hand in Pigeon Forge, TN…
again.......Yes, the writer spelled her name wrong but as promised when the script was 1st handed to her, she had the tallest darkest leading character in Hollywood...

Grand Dad went to the movie one day
To watch King Kong fondle Fay Ray
In his leathery hand the beauty lay
Wearing only a satin negligee
My Daddy was born nine months to the day
After that fateful matinee
All because of Fay Ray's nipples
Daddy was born in Phil-a-del-phi-ay
All because of Fay Ray's nipples

Flesh begets flesh
In the usual way
Daddy's only here because of Fay Ray.

Daddy had an album
Of photos from the war
Snapshots taken of Okinawan whores
Dressed in sarongs like Dorothy Lamour
For a nickel they'd drop the dress on the floor
And happily pose in front of the camera
With fruit on their head
Like Carmen Miranda
I was born nine months to the day
After Daddy got back to the USA
Because of little native women
Dressed like Dorothy Lamour
Dressed in sarongs like Dorothy Lamour

Flesh begets flesh
In the usual way
I am only here because of Fay Ray.

Women are more than baby machines
More than naked pictures in magazines
I'm no prude
Don't get me wrong
If you don't want kids
Don't watch King Kong
Flesh begets flesh
In the usual way
We're all here because of Fay Ray.

faywray.jpg
 
A magician worked on a cruise ship and the audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.

There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.

Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it … with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day… and then 2 days and then 3 days… Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer: "OK, I give up. Where's the %#@!in' ship?"
 

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