Daily Chuckle
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coachg
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Named'em Tamed'em
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greybeard
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To go along with the one above...
It's a real Vogue magazine issue, posted on one of the Mil boards I'm on by an American living in the Philippines. She's the oldest model ever to appear on a Vogue cover, by far. She's 106 and is renowned for her tattoo expertise in the style of that region.
"Vogue Philippines has revealed Apo Whang-Od as the cover star of its April issue, a move that makes the 106-year-old tattoo artist from the Philippines the oldest person ever to appear on the front of Vogue.
Whang-Od — also known as Maria Oggay — has been perfecting the art of hand-tapping tattoos since she was a teen, learning under her father's instruction.
Residing in the mountain village of Buscalan, about 15 hours north of Manila, in Kalinga province, she is considered the country's oldest mambabatok — or traditional Kalinga tattooist.
Once, the hand-tapped tattoos that Whang-Od creates using just a bamboo stick, a thorn from a pomelo tree, water and coal, were earned by indigenous Butbut warriors.
Now, international visitors seeking her signature geometric designs make up much of her clientele.
"Heralded as the last mambabatok of her generation, she has imprinted the symbols of the Kalinga tribe—signifying strength, bravery, and beauty—on the skin of thousands of people who have made the pilgrimage to Buscalan."
It's a real Vogue magazine issue, posted on one of the Mil boards I'm on by an American living in the Philippines. She's the oldest model ever to appear on a Vogue cover, by far. She's 106 and is renowned for her tattoo expertise in the style of that region.
"Vogue Philippines has revealed Apo Whang-Od as the cover star of its April issue, a move that makes the 106-year-old tattoo artist from the Philippines the oldest person ever to appear on the front of Vogue.
Whang-Od — also known as Maria Oggay — has been perfecting the art of hand-tapping tattoos since she was a teen, learning under her father's instruction.
Residing in the mountain village of Buscalan, about 15 hours north of Manila, in Kalinga province, she is considered the country's oldest mambabatok — or traditional Kalinga tattooist.
Once, the hand-tapped tattoos that Whang-Od creates using just a bamboo stick, a thorn from a pomelo tree, water and coal, were earned by indigenous Butbut warriors.
Now, international visitors seeking her signature geometric designs make up much of her clientele.
"Heralded as the last mambabatok of her generation, she has imprinted the symbols of the Kalinga tribe—signifying strength, bravery, and beauty—on the skin of thousands of people who have made the pilgrimage to Buscalan."
Mrcopier
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Travlr
Well-known member
A woman goes to prison to visit her husband who has just been sentenced to 40 years in jail.
As soon as she enters the visiting room, she hugs him and exclaims with tears in her eyes:
- "Oh! Roger, 40 years, Roger.?"
And the husband replies:
"Well, my love, what are you going to do?"
"Oh, Roger...! I spoke to the judge handling your case,"
"And what did he say, my love?"
"He told me that for every time I make love with him, he will reduce your prison sentence by one year..."
"What!!! What a miserable bastard and what did you say to that son of a b**ch? "
" Oh, Roger! We'll talk about it at home, pick up your stuff, let's go… !!!"
As soon as she enters the visiting room, she hugs him and exclaims with tears in her eyes:
- "Oh! Roger, 40 years, Roger.?"
And the husband replies:
"Well, my love, what are you going to do?"
"Oh, Roger...! I spoke to the judge handling your case,"
"And what did he say, my love?"
"He told me that for every time I make love with him, he will reduce your prison sentence by one year..."
"What!!! What a miserable bastard and what did you say to that son of a b**ch? "
" Oh, Roger! We'll talk about it at home, pick up your stuff, let's go… !!!"
greybeard
Well-known member
The judge's name musta been Roger too.
Roger Rabbit.
Roger Rabbit.
greybeard
Well-known member
A man with a nagging secret couldn't keep it any longer. In the confessional he admitted that for years he had been stealing building supplies from the lumberyard where he worked.
"What did you take?" his priest asked.
"Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake."
"This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?"
"Well no, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."
-
(and for those afflicted with black hide fever... )
A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says "G".
The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"
"What did you take?" his priest asked.
"Enough to build my own house and enough for my son's house. And houses for our two daughters and our cottage at the lake."
"This is very serious," the priest said. "I shall have to think of a far-reaching penance. Have you ever done a retreat?"
"Well no, Father, I haven't," the man replied. "But if you can get the plans, I can get the lumber."
-
(and for those afflicted with black hide fever... )
A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is. A student puts up his hand and says "G".
The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus?"
Lannie
Well-known member
That one took me a minute! ROFL!
CowboyRam
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CowboyRam
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greybeard
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and dog's gf has 8 nipples.....
Travlr
Well-known member
A Texan flies into Sydney, Australia, gets in a taxi and asks to go to his hotel, the route going through the city and across the Sydney Harbour Bridge.
As they're driving towards the city, the Texan sees the Sydney tower, and asks the taxi driver "What's that?' Taxi driver says "Mate, That's Sydney Tower!" The Texan asks 'How long did it take to build it?" Driver says "Dunno! I think about a year"! The Texan says "Back home in Texas I own a construction company, and my boys could've done that job in 6 months, tops!" Driver nods, impressed!
A bit later the Texan sees the Sydney Harbour Bridge. "Hey Fella, What's that?" Driver says " Sydney Harbour Bridge, Mate!" 'How long did they take to build that?" Yeah, Not sure! I think it took about 2 years!". The Texan says "My boys could've knocked that out in under a year, maximum!"
As they're driving onto the Sydney Harbour Bridge, The Texan looks out his window and sees the Sydney Opera House, he asks the Driver 'Hey Fella, that white building down there, what's that?"
Driver says '**** if I know mate! It wasn't there this morning!'
As they're driving towards the city, the Texan sees the Sydney tower, and asks the taxi driver "What's that?' Taxi driver says "Mate, That's Sydney Tower!" The Texan asks 'How long did it take to build it?" Driver says "Dunno! I think about a year"! The Texan says "Back home in Texas I own a construction company, and my boys could've done that job in 6 months, tops!" Driver nods, impressed!
A bit later the Texan sees the Sydney Harbour Bridge. "Hey Fella, What's that?" Driver says " Sydney Harbour Bridge, Mate!" 'How long did they take to build that?" Yeah, Not sure! I think it took about 2 years!". The Texan says "My boys could've knocked that out in under a year, maximum!"
As they're driving onto the Sydney Harbour Bridge, The Texan looks out his window and sees the Sydney Opera House, he asks the Driver 'Hey Fella, that white building down there, what's that?"
Driver says '**** if I know mate! It wasn't there this morning!'
CowboyRam
Well-known member
Lannie
Well-known member
Well, thank goodness! Did she fail the Field Sobriety Test? I thought so... I KNEW she must be drunk! ROFL!
greybeard
Well-known member
Went to the dance with my daddy.
Came home with my momma..
I bought the book "How to solve half your problems."
I've read it twice and am problem free.
Came home with my momma..
I bought the book "How to solve half your problems."
I've read it twice and am problem free.
gman4691
Well-known member
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
