Daily Chuckle

[Son of Butch]

Chevy novas failed hard in Mexico.. No-Va literally means no-go

Yes, one of the worst marketing campaigns of all time.
The worst was Gerber Baby Food in Africa where the standard was to put picture of contents (ie carrots) on the container because of wide spread illiteracy. Nobody was interested in buying jars of food when it had a picture of a baby on it.

 

[CowboyRam]

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Every year there is a story on the news of someone getting gored by a Bison.

 

[Walking W]

Somewhere around 1953-1954 I decided it would be a good idea to stick a pair of tweezers into a120v receptacle. My excuse was
1. I couldn't read yet.
2. We didn't have a tv yet.
3. My twin brother made me do it.

Not much later than that, probably 1957 about the age of three, I did the same with a bobby pin. It turned red hot and blew like a fuse faster than I could react. Took a while to heal the burns. What a way to learn a lesson about electricity!

 

[SBMF 2015]

Every year there is a story on the news of someone getting gored by a Bison.

Yeah, I love stupid people stories.

 

[Nesikep]

Yes, one of the worst marketing campaigns of all time.
The worst was Gerber Baby Food in Africa where the standard was to put picture of contents (ie carrots) on the container because of wide spread illiteracy. Nobody was interested in buying jars of food when it had a picture of a baby on it.

Another translation fail was Parker pens in Mexico,
"It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you." and it translated to "It won't leak in your pocket and make you pregnant"
Though, the company mistakenly thought that the Spanish word for 'embarrass' was embarazar, which actually means to be pregnant

 

[Rafter S]

Yeah, I love stupid people stories.

I saw a story in the newspaper about 30 years ago about a guy who was trying to light a cigarette and was having trouble because of the wind. He used an open container of gasoline as a windbreak.

It was his last mistake.

 

[Warren Allison]

 

[wbvs58]

Every year there is a story on the news of someone getting gored by a Bison.

I've heard it all before, "it's OK all animals just love me".

Ken

 

[Warren Allison]

 

[greybeard]

Q: What is the difference between a USAF pilot and a jet engine?

A: A jet engine stops whinning when the aircraft is shut down....

 

[SBMF 2015]

 

[Travlr]

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I married one... It's important to keep her happy.

 

[Travlr]

One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked:' Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator!'

 

[wbvs58]

One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked:' Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator!'

He is a quick thinker.

Ken

 

[Travlr]

A Chinese doctor can't find a job in a hospital in the US, so he opens a clinic and puts a sign outside that reads "GET TREATMENT FOR $20 - IF NOT CURED GET BACK $100".

An American lawyer thinks this is a great opportunity to earn $100 and goes to the clinic

Lawyer: I have lost my sense for taste

Doctor: Nurse, bring medicines from box No. 22 and put 3 drops in patient's mouth

Lawyer: Ugh, this is kerosene

Doctor: congrats, your sense of taste is restored. Give me $20

The annoyed lawyer goes back after a few days to recover his money

Lawyer: I have lost my memory. I can't remember anything.

Doctor:Nurse, bring medicine from box No. 22 and puts 3 drop in his mouth

Lawyer:{annoyed} This is koresene. You gave me this last time for restoring my taste.

Doctor:congrats. You got back your memory. Give me $20

The fuming lawyer pays him, and then comes back a week later determined to get back $100.

Lawyer: my eyesight has become very weak. I can't see at all

Doctor: well I don't have any medicine for that, so take this $100

Lawyer :{staring at the note} but this is $20 not $100.

Doctor:;congrats, your eyesight is restored. Give me $20

 

[Ebenezer]

One evening an old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while.

He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked:' Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator!'

True story: Had a couple of coworkers who knew of a gator in a private pond and there was a No Trespassing sign but the temptation was too much. One day they stopped and walked the path in to see if they could see the gator. No signs of him but the guy behind thought it would be fun to scare the guy at the edge of the pond. He reached down, grabbed the calf of the guy's leg and let out a loud growl. The next thing he knew he was waking up and laying the the path from the blow of the tackle and the other guy was in the truck.

 

[greybeard]

"Hey Siri !, why am I so bad with women?"

"This is Alexa, You Moron!"

 

[Ouachita]

"Hey Siri !, why am I so bad with women?"

"This is Alexa, You Moron!"

Story of my life. I am fortunate though; since then, the Queen Bee always asked me if I’m ready. Seductive woman that she is.
I’m always ready when she’s asking. I don’t think she cares much for Alexa or Siri. Pretty sure it’d be the cat fight of the century. The only piece of me you’d see is the upper part of my tail as I’m screaming away like a banshee.

 

[SBMF 2015]

 

[Warren Allison]