Dad's house and rant on sibs

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Lammie

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We went by Dad's house on Saturday to see how it was doing. The back yard was about ready to bale. I was under the impression that my sibs were mowing it...

Anyway, we didn't have the stuff we needed for cleaning the yard so we went on about our business, and later I called the sibs and told them that we were having a yard cleaning and that they should come and get everything out of the house they wanted. This may have been the wrong thing to say...

My sister got two tables, a dryer, a recliner, the deep freeze and dibs on the window units. My bother and SIL got the washer, a table, a roll top desk and goodness knows what esle I may not find again... I told yall that my SIL got my mother's wedding ring and mother's ring, right? We made her return them so we could bury Mother with them... :mad:

I got some old photos and an apron that belonged to Mom. I really don't want anything more furniture. I also took a hammock frame. I have my own stuff. I don't need any more.

Anyway, SIL decides she wants the carport! Oh he77 to the no! You aren't digging it up, it belongs with the house. She then sent my brother, her long suffering husband, to tell me at the end of the day, that she wants her oldest son to buy the house. (The one that's been in prison three times?) I told my bro. what I was asking that he'd have to get a bank loan and put down twenty percent like everyone else. I guess he thought I'd do an owner finance thing, but again, he77 no. She's quit making payments after she moved it and I'm not messing with selling kinfolks anything.

I called the neighbor who wants to buy it, and actually has money and credit, and told him that we could close as soon as he wants, that I'm having the estate sale the second week of June.

I imagine I'll be doing this alone. Everyone has what they want out of the house.

My sister has yet to visit Dad since Mom's funeral in February. She lives fifteen minutes away...

I'm ready to get this off my plate. Dealing with sibs is getting the best of me. Vultures.

Oh, and Steve did all the yard work while my brother and BIL drank beer and hauled stuff off. Steve's a saint.
 

Jogeephus

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I know what you are talking about and feel your anger/pain. I was asked to be the executor of a friends estate. He told me his child was a POS and he didn't want to leave her a thing. He warned me and warned me but I did not realize how honest a man he was till I met her. When he was in a coma in the hospital she flies to see him. Well not really. She was hunting the pot of gold. She tried to sell his house and vehicles while he was in a coma. I said no can do. She later shows up with a hand written note (with his signature on it) saying he wants her to have his new truck. Pretty dang good handwriting for someone in a coma.

Thank goodness I got this off my plate last week. Sold his house, sold his belongings and put everything in a trust for his grand kids. They are going to be well cared for and their college tuition is paid for if they chose to go. Just have to manage the trust until they are of age. This will be a little inconvenient but I don't mind. So glad the rough part is over. She is a POS. Trying to steal from her children.
 

kerley

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Lammie, Didn't you post earlier that your son was getting married and moving into your parents home.
Tom.
 
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Lammie

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It just amazes me that my sister can show up to get Dad's things but she can't visit him. And it is about the same distance either way. And she just left post it notes on all the stuff she wanted. She could not be bothered to actually be there. They both just want the stuff. I finally got it through my brother's head that there's no estate to inherit. All the money from the sale of the house is going to Dad's care and even if he died tomorrow, the Medicaide estate recovery people will want the money from the house. I hate it that it worked out like this, but to tell the truth, Dad might have been able to put aside a nest egg if he hadn't had his kids getting money off him all the time. It breaks my heart. They really don't care about their own father. All they want is whatever they can get out of him. And now my SIL has the nerve to want to "buy" his house. Like she didn't have the past ten months to decide that.

I would sooner burn that house to the ground than let my SIL live in it.
 
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Lammie

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kerley":51f15x67 said:
Lammie, Didn't you post earlier that your son was getting married and moving into your parents home.
Tom.

He decided he didn't want to mess with it. Too far away from anything he does. And yes, we were going to rent it to him for a while while he decided whether or not he wanted to buy it.

You have to understand my SIL. She did the same thing with her father. And she has wrecked two of Dad's cars over the years. No insurance. And she has gotten kicked out of two houses Dad made the down payment on. She's had enough chances. And of course, she knows it all. She's the worldwide expert on everything.

If she really wanted to buy the house, it might be one thing, but all she wants is something for nothing. I've been dealing with the parent thing pretty much alone for well over two years now. I'm ready to get shut of it and just concentrate on Dad for a while.
 

kerley

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Lammie, I know that you have worked very hard to look after your parents and done your best. I hope everything works out for the best. Peace be with you.
Tom
 

bigbull338

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lammie i feel for you.just do the best you can.an yes the gov will get the money from the sale of the house an thats sad.its a shame that your mom an dad didnt deed it over to yall with a life estate.
 
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Lammie

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bigbull338":9j6xf0za said:
lammie i feel for you.just do the best you can.an yes the gov will get the money from the sale of the house an thats sad.its a shame that your mom an dad didnt deed it over to yall with a life estate.

I'm almost grateful they didn't. That would have been the land grab of all time. I never planned on inheriting anything from anyone. I would prefer to make my own way. If they had had some land or a farm, that might have been different, but they just had the house.
 

I luv herfrds

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Lammie I really feel for you on this. I hope when this mess with the house and stuff is over you can relax a bit.
The stories I have heard about "The Vultures". It happens everytime someone passes and it is sad. It doesn't even have to be family members either.
When my friend Kelly passed away, her sister was approched by a woman telling her that she would be willing to "take" Kelly's horses and give them a good home especially the Gurella. :mad: :mad:
Kelly's family still has her horses.
 

peg4x4

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Too bad you can't divorce a POS SIL .. I'm sorry all this crap had to happen to you..Be strong,don't sink to their level ( however tempting that would be )
 
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Lammie

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peg4x4":2ggx6oye said:
Too bad you can't divorce a POS SIL .. I'm sorry all this crap had to happen to you..Be strong,don't sink to their level ( however tempting that would be )

I hate to do it, but I am about to tell my SIL to shut up and leave. She's not a part of my family. She is and she isn't. You know? And everything she does is tied into something that she wants. She's very crafty.
 

newrancher

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Lammie, I had a BIL that had the audacity to tell me "we don't want anything from the farm ,we'll just take the money". This while my FIL was having heart surgery, I clocked him right there at the hospital and told him that FIL was n't gone yet. So thats my advice, get her alone and put a knot on her head. By the way he's now history and FIL is still kicking and doing good.
 

Ryder

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newrancher":2o9nswdf said:
Lammie, I had a BIL that had the audacity to tell me "we don't want anything from the farm ,we'll just take the money". This while my FIL was having heart surgery, I clocked him right there at the hospital and told him that FIL was n't gone yet. So thats my advice, get her alone and put a knot on her head. By the way he's now history and FIL is still kicking and doing good.

:clap: :clap: :clap:
 
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Lammie

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That same SIL asked my parents last spring who they were planning on leaving the house to. Dad said he'd burn it down before he saw her live in it. Hence my comment. He didn't want here to live there. Not with her 150 relatives that are in and out of jail and all their various kids from various mothers and all 57 dogs. At one point last summer, I even suggested that maybe if my bro and SIL came to live with them it would enable them to remain in their home. Dad rejected in outright. I'm glad he did but I was willing to make sure that they got the house if Dad was agreeable. I'm not just being mean, this was a wish of my Dad's.

Just like my SIL to ask someone about "her" inheritence. She tried this with her Dad's place and I guess her siblings didn't allow then to stay there. They had lived there for several years and technically, they could have stayed according to the laws here. I don't know what happened there.

My brother wanted just to have a graveside service for Mom when her funeral service was paid for. He just wanted to go chincy to get what money would have been left. Not that there is anything wrong with graveside only, but it was not what she wanted. She and Dad had pre-paid funerals to avoid this.

That's what I'm dealing with.

No one has called since asking about details and that's a good thing. I'm going to pretend I didn't hear either of them suggest it.

My brother is also an alcoholic, so she runs the show at their house. I guess that's a good thing, too, but I wish she'd stay out of my family's business. She has her own mess to deal with.
 

Jogeephus

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Lammie":1917ub6e said:
but it was not what she wanted

The most important thing is that there is at least one person seeing that her wishes are carried out. Its sad that EVERYONE isn't doing this but at least there is you. :tiphat:
 

BeefmasterB

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Your doing a great job Lammie :nod: . There will always be the carp whose motto is "take everything they have", contribute nothing and always wanting to swim in the same pond you are. The silver lining is that it's just all 'stuff' (belongings, real estate etc) that really won't make their lives any better. Sometimes it's best to just let them have it without all the fuss, take your good memories and go to that environment you enjoy the most. I would bet your parents are proud of you for stepping up to the plate to deal with all the mess. Hang in there!
 
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Lammie

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I really don't want any of their stuff. If it were up to me, I'd walk away and leave the whole thing to those vultures. But since I am the POA and the Executor of the will, and it's my name on everything, then it is my responsibility. I get the bills and I get the notices. I'm doing things as close to the letter of the law as I can. After the house sells I have thirty days to either do something legal with the money or make the NH Dad's Representative Payee and let him go on private pay until he spends down his money and then can go back on Medicaid. It's a mess and it shouldn't be like that, but it is, and I'm sure it is because of families like mine who want all the good stuff and none of the worry.
 

hillsdown

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Sounds like a horrible mess Lammie..I feel for you and anyone ever put in that situation..
I do know that a lot of sibs when it comes to belonging in a house all agree on a price for that item ,whoever wants puts a post it on it and before they cane remove it money must be put in the estate. The estate is then divided up amongst all sibs or is left for in your case your dad and his future expenses..Having a free for all only brings out the vultures..

Good luck and take care of yourself you do not need to be all stressed out especially with all that you have had to deal with these last few months,,sounds like you need a nice long relaxing vacation away from all this chaos....
 
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