I have a bunch of stories on hunting, fishing and shooting - but one of my favourites concerns a coyote and a family member who thinks red meat comes on styrofoam platters wrapped in shrink wrap.
A few years ago we were quite over run with yotes - we were also over run with barn cats. I think we had about 30 of them darned cats by the time winter hit.
So, we left the barn door open a crack and practised a little "coyote birth control". After we got down to about 10 cats or so I started closing the barn door all the way at night.
About 0800 on Christmas morning I was putting together some Santa delivered Barbie stuff - do not EVER volunteer to do that - especially if you are as ham fisted as I am - when I heard the phone ring.
It's my sister-in-law, city dweller, professional, never been in the country, farms are smelly, animals are dirty, anti-gun, anti everything unless it fits into her special world of heels, fancy cars, manicured lawns, best dressed husband, kids in up to date styles of clothing and so on.
Simultaneously, my youngest squeals out - Daddy a coyote is chasing Fluffy up a tree. So I trot down to the bedroom and haul out my trusty 25 - 06 and a couple of rounds. Meantime Wiley is now sitting about 20 yards from the kitchen window licking his lips while this darned "favoured barn cat" is hissing from up in a small tree.
I roll into the kitchen as my wife is talking to her sister and load up in the house - pointing the muzzle at the window of course.
Wife - Looks at me and rolls her eyes - it's one of those "Here we go again" looks - all you married guys have seen that look at least once in your life.
Wife - "Debbie I have to put the phone down for a second - Bez is about to shoot something from the window."
Debbie - WHAT!!???
Wife - Yeah - he'll only be a second, but it gets loud in the house when he does this and we like to cover our ears.
Debbie - WHAT!?!?!?!? Are you OK - ARE YOU IN DANGER?
Wife - It's ok - he usually only gets one shot off.
(No wise cracks fellows)
I quietly roll the window up a couple of inches - all in house are braced, watching from other windows and have ears covered.
Debbie on the other hand does not get it and has phone tight to ear and is screaming - Is everything all right?
Me - now REALLY enjoying this - Boom - yote rolls over and oldest daughter looks for her knife to skin the tail out - she had quite a collection for a ten year old at the time. She's hollering - Where's my knife, where's my knife?
I look at wife - big shite eating grin - her with hands on hips - she was wearing one of those "Did you really have to do that with Deb on the line?" looks.
Me - "Hon, just wait another minute or two before you pick up the phone - let her sweat a bit."
Finally we can't hold it in any more and laughing starts in the kitchen - S-I-L is having a sh*t hemourage on the phone.
Never could figure out how my wife and her sister could be so different.
To this day wife's sister has never been out to the farm!
And, come to think of it - that's not really all that bad!
To the TheBullLady
They are smart, determined and will take down lots of things you would never think possible - they are true eating machines - but I have to admire them for their ability to thrive in almost any envronment.
Oldtimer and certherfbeef have it 100% right.