Chicken Wire

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9 ER

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An old man in Mississippi is sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Roll of chicken wire."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch some chickens."

"You damn fool! You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!" The boy just laughs and keeps walking. That evening at sunset, the boy comes walking by, dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.

The next morning, the old man is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something in his hand. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"Roll of duct tape."

"What you gonna do with that?"

"Gonna catch me some ducks."

"You damn fool! You can't catch ducks with duct tape!"

The boy just laughs and keeps walking.That night around sunset the boy walks by, trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duct tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.

The next morning, the old man sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. ''Hey boy, whatcha got there?"

"It's a [email protected]$$y willow."


"Wait up...I'll get my hat."
 

jerry27150

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three women get stuck on a small deserted island 20 miles from the mainland with no means of making a boat. one is a blonde ,one a redhead & one a brunette
after a week or two the brunette says she can't stand it anymore & is goig to swim the 20 miles.
she swims out abut 5 miles & is exhausted & drowns.
after a few more days the red head says she has to get off the island & takes off swimming
she gets about 10 miles & exhausted she also drowns
the blonde stays on the island another couple of weeks & finally decides she will try to swim off
she starts swiming & gets half way & starts feeling tired, but decides to go on
she gets 5 miles from shore & decides there is no way she can make it on in so she turns around & goes back to the island!!!!
 

cowgirl580

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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: very funny. he's one for ya'll

You know you are from Colorado when... **
>>*...You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista.
>> (Buna, as in tuna.)
>>
>>*...You think there are only 3 seasons: elk, football, and skiing.
>>
>>*...April showers bring May blizzards.
>>
>>*...You see someone riding a Harley in a snowstorm, and you look
>> closer to see if it's someone you know.
>>
>>*...Timberline is someplace you have actually been, many times.
>>
>>*...You know who Alfred Packer was.
>>
>>*...SPF 90 is not out of the question.
>>
>>*...People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do.
>>
>>*...Having a Senator named 'Nighthorse' doesn't seem strange.
>>
>>*..A full moon has never kept you awake.
>>
>>*...You have an $800 stereo in a $300 truck.
>>
>>*...You carry your $3,000 mountain bike on top of your $500 car.
>>
>>*...You have a business degree and are frying burgers at a McDonald's
>> in Vail.
>>
>>*...You own a big dog named Aspen, Buck, Cheyenne or Dakota that wears
>> a bandanna.
>>
>>*...You think a pass does not involve a football or a woman.
>>
>>*...You are 82 years old and take up snowboarding.
>>
>>*...Your real Y2K fear is running out of Celestial Seasonings tea and
>> trail mix.
>>
>>*...The entire top of your head is bald, but you still have a ponytail.
>>
>>*...You get depressed after one day of cloudy weather.
>>
>>*...You think that formal wear is ironed denim.
>>
>>*...North means "mountains to the left;" south is "mountains to the
>> right; and east and west are where all those liberals keep moving
>> in from.
>>
>>*...You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels "sticky" and
>> you notice the sky is no longer blue.
>>
>>*...You consider a three-piece suit to be a pair of shorts, a
>> sweatshirt, and Birkenstocks.
>>
>>*...Your bridal registry is at REI.
>>
>>*...You can run up 10 flights of stair without huffing and puffing.
>>
>>*...You have stood on solid ground and looked down on an
>> airplane in flight.
>>
>>*...In Colorado there is an additional season... "Road Construction."
>> And finally:
>>
>>*...Knowing that Texas and California are downstream gives you a
>> certain feeling of satisfaction when you flush.
>
no offense to anybody.
 

jerry27150

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where i come from you don't tug on supermans cape, you don't spit into the wind, you don't pull the mask off the old lone ranger & you don't mess around with jim :lol: :lol:
 

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