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Banned from walmart

rockridgecattle

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This brought tears to my eyes. Hppe someone needs and enjoys a good laugh. Might have been posted before but..

BANNED FROM WAL-MART


This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart .


Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get
in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loved
to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the
local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in
our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below
and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's
restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from
the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying and
screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the
'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by
using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed
a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least .

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then
yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
 

BeefmasterB

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Angus Cowman":yik710g5 said:
ROFLMAO :lol: :lol: :lol:

I'll have to try this maybe get me out of going to Wally World

Let me know how it works out! I'm behind you all the way :lol2:
 

Lammie

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You wouldnt care to believe how many times people actually do urinate in the fitting room. I used to work retail. People do really strange things in the stores.
 

jka300

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That an awesome joke, I should try it here but chances are the store would try to hire me!! :lol:

Lammie":39gnrnw3 said:
You wouldnt care to believe how many times people actually do urinate in the fitting room. I used to work retail. People do really strange things in the stores.
I agree to that, some people are just pigs
 

Lammie

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Ryder":1lfe0h70 said:
Lammie":1lfe0h70 said:
You wouldnt care to believe how many times people actually do urinate in the fitting room. I used to work retail. People do really strange things in the stores.
Are you putting me on?

No actually. Had a lady once that took some jeans in a fitting room and squatted on them and peed. When she left the fitting room, the attendant went to see if left items in there and there were the jeans soaked. The restroom was right next to the fitting rooms. I remembered the lady because she made a production of finding her size.

When my son worked at the movie theater in Cleburne he said it was not unusual to find poop in the auditoriums, and no sign of dirty diapers, either.

My favorites were the people who would open up a package of socks, see if they fit and then buy an unopened package of the same sized socks. We always had opened packages. We had two ladies whose job it was to re-package things people had opened.
 

backhoeboogie

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Lammie":2r354rie said:
My favorites were the people who would open up a package of socks, see if they fit and then buy an unopened package of the same sized socks.

I know someone with those type of ethics. It just aint right to be like that.

I do open boxes at times - to ensure all the piece parts are inside, and intact. It does not matter to me if I AM GIVING IT AS A GIFT. I simply tell the person receiving the gift that I was the one who opened the box and checked.
 

FarmGirl10

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rockridgecattle":1swdhg52 said:

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

:D I actually like doing this one. Playing dodge ball throughout the store is pretty fun too. :lol: And yet I've never been kicked out.
 

mobgrazer

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If my local walmart was like that they would not have anyone left to shop there. Some times I will ride a bike in the store.
 

Ryder

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mobgrazer":1ubz75au said:
If my local walmart was like that they would not have anyone left to shop there. Some times I will ride a bike in the store.
It has been rumored that I was spotted riding one of those battery powered scooters in a store. If it was true, which it is not, it was late at night, up and down the ailes where there were no customers at the time. Very cautiously at first, until I got the hang of it.
 

backhoeboogie

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Ryder":3gfyynn5 said:
It has been rumored that I was spotted riding one of those battery powered scooters in a store. If it was true, which it is not, it was late at night, up and down the ailes where there were no customers at the time. Very cautiously at first, until I got the hang of it.

Are they anything like the bumper cars at the state fair? I've always wanted to know
 

Ryder

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backhoeboogie":9sca55t1 said:
Ryder":9sca55t1 said:
It has been rumored that I was spotted riding one of those battery powered scooters in a store. If it was true, which it is not, it was late at night, up and down the ailes where there were no customers at the time. Very cautiously at first, until I got the hang of it.

Are they anything like the bumper cars at the state fair? I've always wanted to know
No. I had a scooter when I was a little fellow. You stand on it with one foot and push with the other.
But the ones in the store you just stand on it and it has battery power to make it go. It is really neat. But people keep telling me I am too old to play with things like that.

WHO IN TARNATION PUT AN AGE LIMIT ON HAVING FUN ?
 

mobgrazer

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We got mad one day because they were suppose to have turkey bowling. Well they didn’t say it was 8 to 8. Well it was 4am and they closed it down. I made the manager open it up for us. You should have seen the box boys face when he was told he had to set the 2 letters back up for us. We played for about an hour and had 40 people playing and cheering us on. I thanked him on the way out and he was glad to not be working.

Next time you go in find something with the alarm system buzzer tag things and put it inside your pants on your calf. If they say something to you treat it one of two ways. First play there game until they find the tag or give up. Second ask them if there accusing you of stealing? Depending on what they respond with get pissed and ask to see the manager NOW. Tell the manager that it’s against the law to be accused of stealing (I know in VA) and he just said I was. Show him the slip for paying for your stuff. Watch out because now they can search you and your stuff.
 

chrisy

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Good one, my husband is always setting off the alarm clocks at minute intervals, fortunately or unfortunately I can't make up my mind, he has never been caught. He drives me mad while out shopping, don't know why he always insists on coming with me and then moans all the while we are out. MEN Auh!
 

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