annoying family member?

[dun]

I AM the annoying family member. I have a habit of insulting certain family members/in-laws in a sarcastic way that makes it difficult for them to say anything.

Walt

We have something in common. The less people that like me, the less folks showing up wanting something. Had a family member tell my wife last week (just after I almost ran over her and her horse - family member, not wife) that she was one of the few who still liked me. I'll see what I can do about that.

cfpinz

Good to hear you have the same affect on family as you do strangers

 

[cfpinz]

I AM the annoying family member. I have a habit of insulting certain family members/in-laws in a sarcastic way that makes it difficult for them to say anything.

Walt

We have something in common. The less people that like me, the less folks showing up wanting something. Had a family member tell my wife last week (just after I almost ran over her and her horse - family member, not wife) that she was one of the few who still liked me. I'll see what I can do about that.

cfpinz

Good to hear you have the same affect on family as you do strangers

Saves money on Christmas cards.

 

[msscamp]

My dad. He seems to be getting meaner with age. Every time I see him he will say something very mean and hurtful. I have talked to him about it but it hasn't done any good.

Have you ever considered the possibility that your Dad might be angry, scared, and unsure of how to deal with his increasing inability to do things he is used to doing without losing his pride and sense of self-worth? Has it occured to you that, because of that, he might simply be lashing out at those that are the closest to him - namely you? Perhaps you might want to try putting yourself in his place, and see how it feels. Take a good hard look at things from his perspective. It just might give you a whole new insight as to where he is coming from, and a better idea as to how to deal with the situation than talking ever could. I don't mean to come down on you, and this is just a suggestion from someone who has been there. ;-)

 

[GMN]

My dad. He seems to be getting meaner with age. Every time I see him he will say something very mean and hurtful. I have talked to him about it but it hasn't done any good.

Have you ever considered the possibility that your Dad might be angry, scared, and unsure of how to deal with his increasing inability to do things he is used to doing without losing his pride and sense of self-worth? Has it occured to you that, because of that, he might simply be lashing out at those that are the closest to him - namely you? Perhaps you might want to try putting yourself in his place, and see how it feels. Take a good hard look at things from his perspective. It just might give you a whole new insight as to where he is coming from, and a better idea as to how to deal with the situation than talking ever could. I don't mean to come down on you, and this is just a suggestion from someone who has been there. ;-)

OR some people are just mean, and never really had the parental abilities to start with.

GMN

 

[Lammie]

Okay, here's another one, but I am not related to her anymore. She was my ex husband's brother's wife. Nothing was good enough for her. Her daughter, monster, may revisit that one day in therapy. had to go to private schools, take English riding lessons. could not watch Disney movies. had to be dressed and spoken to in certain ways. It was all very annoying, since my sons were out in the dirt while she was doing all this, being kids. She used to give that child Lortab so she would sleep at night. Never faced up to the possibility that her child was fathered by, oh, Jeffrey Dahmer. (A possibility more real than you might think... 'nother therapy story. :roll: )

She went through a series on nannies. One was British and one was from France. OMG! Just get her a sitter, would ya? The SIL herself was never home, but her husband was, as he was a substitute teacher. He ended up staying at home with the little girl, as it should have been from the beginning.

She would call and want me to babysit her. I would have to tell her no, cause 1) my kids were a little freightened of the little angel, and 2) she came with such a long list of don'ts that I don't think I could do it please her. I swear, she had a kid so that she would have a picture to go on her desk at work.

When we went to family gatherings, I would have to get a little drunk to face her, and maintain that drunk while we were there. It was just really hard to hear all the stories about his wonderful and perfect life was, as her daughter ran about setting the dog on fire.

I understand the little girl has grown up to be a kinder, gentler creature despite her mother's efforts to create "mini me".

 

[Crowderfarms]

Okay, here's another one, but I am not related to her anymore.

She used to give that child Lortab so she would sleep at night. Never faced up to the possibility that her child was fathered by, oh, Jeffrey Dahmer.

She went through a series on nannies. One was British and one was from France.






When we went to family gatherings, I would have to get a little drunk to face her, and maintain that drunk while we were there.

I understand the little girl has grown up to be a kinder, gentler creature despite her mother's efforts to create "mini me".

Lammie,Take a look at these statements...There is no doubt in my mind, you have bizarre enough stories to make big money traveling some kind of circuit of talk shows.

Your stories put the FUN in DysFUNctional. :lol:

 

[Lammie]

Thank you. sir!

 

[3waycross]

My dad. He seems to be getting meaner with age. Every time I see him he will say something very mean and hurtful. I have talked to him about it but it hasn't done any good.

Have you ever considered the possibility that your Dad might be angry, scared, and unsure of how to deal with his increasing inability to do things he is used to doing without losing his pride and sense of self-worth? Has it occured to you that, because of that, he might simply be lashing out at those that are the closest to him - namely you? Perhaps you might want to try putting yourself in his place, and see how it feels. Take a good hard look at things from his perspective. It just might give you a whole new insight as to where he is coming from, and a better idea as to how to deal with the situation than talking ever could. I don't mean to come down on you, and this is just a suggestion from someone who has been there. ;-)

Been watching my Father go thru just what you described. Between the pressure of taking care of my mother thru some surgerys and his own declining health he has become very hard to deal with lately. It's not doing much for my frame of mind either, as he is only 20 yrs older than me , and I can see the handwriting on the wall. Funny how perspective changes as we age?

 

[Dave]

Believe me, I have thought this situation through from every angle I can think of. I have discussed it to length with my siblings. He is physically very healthy and mentally alert. It is just that every time I talk to him he will say something mean. It is generally about my kids. I can put up with him telling me what I should do, he has been doing that for 56 years. But attacking my kids is over the line. How often do you grab an electric fence to see if it will still shock you? When it shocks you every time you are less eager to grab it after a while. Although it hurts to not see him regularly, it hurts less than it does when I to go to see him.

 

[peg4x4]

Dave,thats a real shame.He's missing out on a lot of joy.
It's not your fault,you can't "make"him happy.. Learn from his example how NOT to treat your kids,and go on with your life.
Just see less of him.-----------Easy to say-hard to do.
Good luck to you..

 

[GMN]

Believe me, I have thought this situation through from every angle I can think of. I have discussed it to length with my siblings. He is physically very healthy and mentally alert. It is just that every time I talk to him he will say something mean. It is generally about my kids. I can put up with him telling me what I should do, he has been doing that for 56 years. But attacking my kids is over the line. How often do you grab an electric fence to see if it will still shock you? When it shocks you every time you are less eager to grab it after a while. Although it hurts to not see him regularly, it hurts less than it does when I to go to see him.

That sounds like a difficult situation. Have You ever just asked him what his problem is? I wouldn't take my kids around a relative like that either. Too bad it has to be that way, but what else is there for you do do really?

Gail

 

[Earl Thigpen]

Yep, one BIL and wife of a different BIL. We call her walnut because we have to remove ALL walnuts and walnut products from the house when she visits. Claims shes allergic. We tested it one time (unknownst to her) and it was BS. She did not die and she didn't even get sick, break out in hives, flush or anything else - darn it! Course we had a few drinks before we gave her the walnut pastery.

 

[Lammie]

Yep, one BIL and wife of a different BIL. We call her walnut because we have to remove ALL walnuts and walnut products from the house when she visits. Claims shes allergic. We tested it one time (unknownst to her) and it was BS. She did not die and she didn't even get sick, break out in hives, flush or anything else - darn it! Course we had a few drinks before we gave her the walnut pastery.

Man, I had a flashback of us spiking my Aunt 'Niter's drink one year. Man, did she get flushed! ('Niter is short for Juanita. It is pronounced Aint Neeter. She hates it when you call her that!)

 

[Susie David]

My family thinks that I'm the one that really gets under everybodie's skin....but I am getting more mellow with advancing age.
Susie says that I was already housebroken when she got me...
years as a happy batchelor will do that to a fella.
Dmc

 

[Howdyjabo]

I have the MIL from ####.
She hated me- cause everyone else in the family(all males) adored me and spoiled me rotten. she was such a bitch that they just tolerated her. It was her goal to make them all hate me as much as she did. Then when the first grandkid came along and they adored him too it got even worse.
She would make them suffer for every nice thing they did for me.

Shes made my life a living hell till FIL and the uncles died- then i had no reason to have anything to do with her.Its been 10 yrs since I have spoken to her- and hubby has a rule that he is NOT to tell me anything she does or says. What I don't know can't hurt me.


Her loss.........

 

[MistyMorning]

Hey Lammie, I've got a few annoying relatives I'll tell you all about when I get to your house in February Remember I'm bringing beer ;-)

See ya than!

MM

 

[dun]

Anyone ever think that maybe the other relatives feel the same way about us. I'm sure some of mine do, but since I try to only see them every 10-20 years it's not a big deal to me

 

[cfpinz]

Anyone ever think that maybe the other relatives feel the same way about us.

One can only hope.

 

[Lammie]

Hey Lammie, I've got a few annoying relatives I'll tell you all about when I get to your house in February Remember I'm bringing beer ;-)

See ya than!

MM

I'll be ready. It's usually nice here in Feb. We can sit outdoors around the chiminea.

 

[Lammie]

Anyone ever think that maybe the other relatives feel the same way about us. I'm sure some of mine do, but since I try to only see them every 10-20 years it's not a big deal to me

And I should give a rat about what they think of me because...

Hey! Let's not forget my beloved FIL! Same thing as Howdy. He hates me cause I took this boy outa Oklahoma. I keep telling him we'll be back someday. Especially now that Steve's working in Bonham.