Jogeephus
Well-known member
This is my third attempt at this post. I can't seem to get the words right so I scrap it. Have tried sugar coating it but can't find the words. So here it goes. When you die, do you want the casket to be opened or closed or none of the above?
Reason I ask is this year I have seen more than my fair share of friends move on. I recently celebrated my cousin's 99th birthday with her only to return home to find one of my close friends is non-responsive and may move on any day. As per his wishes, I opened the instruction envelope listing the things he wants me to take care of. Viewing the detailed thought he put into this "manual" made me think how nonchallantly I have planned for my own farewell. While I think I have most of the monentary stuff worked out the part about the casket has got me confused. I had a conversation with someone about this and he said that some people think it was important for some family members to have an open casket for reasons of closure. While this may be true for some people, I personally don't want to remember someone in this condition as I prefer to remember them as they were in life - their smile, their laughter, their wit, etc.
Last month I was at my fifth funeral for the year. I can't tell you how many people said, "he looked like he was sleeping". BS. He looked like someone had made a wax manequin of him and laid him in a box. I don't want people gauking at me like that. Anyone who has ever seen me sleep knows I'm in my drawers and I dang sure don't sleep in no suit - well maybe if you sit me upright in a pew. But that ain't me. Lay me in the shrubbery or under a tree and say, "wow, he looks just like he's passed out". Now that would be more appropriate.
I'm thinking more on the lines of a party without me being there. Maybe a video tape of me thanking everyone for showing up and telling them about the open bar and the BBQ. Maybe I could make a grand entrance as a plane or something dusts everyone with my ashes. I don't know but I just don't think I want people looking at me and remembering me in a box. Of course, I will do it if it is what I have to do for the sake of the family.
Any ideas?
Reason I ask is this year I have seen more than my fair share of friends move on. I recently celebrated my cousin's 99th birthday with her only to return home to find one of my close friends is non-responsive and may move on any day. As per his wishes, I opened the instruction envelope listing the things he wants me to take care of. Viewing the detailed thought he put into this "manual" made me think how nonchallantly I have planned for my own farewell. While I think I have most of the monentary stuff worked out the part about the casket has got me confused. I had a conversation with someone about this and he said that some people think it was important for some family members to have an open casket for reasons of closure. While this may be true for some people, I personally don't want to remember someone in this condition as I prefer to remember them as they were in life - their smile, their laughter, their wit, etc.
Last month I was at my fifth funeral for the year. I can't tell you how many people said, "he looked like he was sleeping". BS. He looked like someone had made a wax manequin of him and laid him in a box. I don't want people gauking at me like that. Anyone who has ever seen me sleep knows I'm in my drawers and I dang sure don't sleep in no suit - well maybe if you sit me upright in a pew. But that ain't me. Lay me in the shrubbery or under a tree and say, "wow, he looks just like he's passed out". Now that would be more appropriate.
I'm thinking more on the lines of a party without me being there. Maybe a video tape of me thanking everyone for showing up and telling them about the open bar and the BBQ. Maybe I could make a grand entrance as a plane or something dusts everyone with my ashes. I don't know but I just don't think I want people looking at me and remembering me in a box. Of course, I will do it if it is what I have to do for the sake of the family.
Any ideas?