CattleAnnie
Well-known member
Thinking of dating or marrying a horsewoman?
Please read the following carefully:
Easy to Locate: She's either off on the horse or out in the barn.
Upholds the double standard: Smooches with the most bewhiskered beast,
but recoils when a man needs a shave.
Owns one vacuum cleaner - and operates it exclusively in the barn.
A social butterfly: Provided another horsey woman gives the party. Falls asleep in her soup at all other functions.
Economy minded: Won't waste money on permanents, facials, or
manicures.
A culinary perfectionist: Checks every section of hay for mold but
doesn't blink when she petrifies dinner in the microwave.
Occasionally amorous: But never leaves lipstick on your collar, at
worst, slight trace of chapstick.
Easy to outfit: No need for embarrassing visits to uncomfortable
little boutiques. She can find all she wears at the local tack store.
Features a selective sense of smell: Bitterly complains about the
sticky-sweet cigar smoke of others while remaining totally oblivious
to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the
heater.
Unmistakable in a bathing suit: She's the one whose tan starts at
the nose, ends at the neck, and picks up again at the wrists
A dedicated club woman: as long as the words "horse" or "riding"
appear in its name.
Has your leisure at heart: Eliminates grass cutting by turning every
square inch of lawn into pasture which, in turn, converts itself
into mud.
A master at multiplication: She starts with one horse, adds a
companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds it.
Keeps an eagle eye on the budget: Easily justifies spending six
hundred dollars on tack, but croaks when you blow ten on bowling.
An engaging conversationalist: Can rattle on endlessly about
training or breeding.
Socially aware: Knows that formal occasions call for clean boots.
A moving force in the family: House by house, she'll get you to move
closer to horse country (and farther away from your job.)
Easy to please: A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding
hoof pick will win her heart forever.
Sentimental fool: Displays a minimum of six 8x10 color photos of the
horse in the house and carries a crumpled snapshot of you (taken
before you were married) somewhere in the bottom of her purse.
Shows her affection in unusual ways: If she pats you on the neck and
says, "You're a good boy," believe it or not, she loves you."
Please read the following carefully:
Easy to Locate: She's either off on the horse or out in the barn.
Upholds the double standard: Smooches with the most bewhiskered beast,
but recoils when a man needs a shave.
Owns one vacuum cleaner - and operates it exclusively in the barn.
A social butterfly: Provided another horsey woman gives the party. Falls asleep in her soup at all other functions.
Economy minded: Won't waste money on permanents, facials, or
manicures.
A culinary perfectionist: Checks every section of hay for mold but
doesn't blink when she petrifies dinner in the microwave.
Occasionally amorous: But never leaves lipstick on your collar, at
worst, slight trace of chapstick.
Easy to outfit: No need for embarrassing visits to uncomfortable
little boutiques. She can find all she wears at the local tack store.
Features a selective sense of smell: Bitterly complains about the
sticky-sweet cigar smoke of others while remaining totally oblivious
to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the
heater.
Unmistakable in a bathing suit: She's the one whose tan starts at
the nose, ends at the neck, and picks up again at the wrists
A dedicated club woman: as long as the words "horse" or "riding"
appear in its name.
Has your leisure at heart: Eliminates grass cutting by turning every
square inch of lawn into pasture which, in turn, converts itself
into mud.
A master at multiplication: She starts with one horse, adds a
companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds it.
Keeps an eagle eye on the budget: Easily justifies spending six
hundred dollars on tack, but croaks when you blow ten on bowling.
An engaging conversationalist: Can rattle on endlessly about
training or breeding.
Socially aware: Knows that formal occasions call for clean boots.
A moving force in the family: House by house, she'll get you to move
closer to horse country (and farther away from your job.)
Easy to please: A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding
hoof pick will win her heart forever.
Sentimental fool: Displays a minimum of six 8x10 color photos of the
horse in the house and carries a crumpled snapshot of you (taken
before you were married) somewhere in the bottom of her purse.
Shows her affection in unusual ways: If she pats you on the neck and
says, "You're a good boy," believe it or not, she loves you."
