A Little Humour

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Well-known member
Mar 2, 2004
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Northeastern BC Canada
Thinking of dating or marrying a horsewoman?
Please read the following carefully:

Easy to Locate: She's either off on the horse or out in the barn.

Upholds the double standard: Smooches with the most bewhiskered beast,
but recoils when a man needs a shave.

Owns one vacuum cleaner - and operates it exclusively in the barn.

A social butterfly: Provided another horsey woman gives the party. Falls asleep in her soup at all other functions.

Economy minded: Won't waste money on permanents, facials, or

A culinary perfectionist: Checks every section of hay for mold but
doesn't blink when she petrifies dinner in the microwave.

Occasionally amorous: But never leaves lipstick on your collar, at
worst, slight trace of chapstick.

Easy to outfit: No need for embarrassing visits to uncomfortable
little boutiques. She can find all she wears at the local tack store.

Features a selective sense of smell: Bitterly complains about the
sticky-sweet cigar smoke of others while remaining totally oblivious
to the almost visible aroma of her barn boots drying next to the

Unmistakable in a bathing suit: She's the one whose tan starts at
the nose, ends at the neck, and picks up again at the wrists

A dedicated club woman: as long as the words "horse" or "riding"
appear in its name.

Has your leisure at heart: Eliminates grass cutting by turning every
square inch of lawn into pasture which, in turn, converts itself
into mud.

A master at multiplication: She starts with one horse, adds a
companion, and if it's a mare, she breeds it.

Keeps an eagle eye on the budget: Easily justifies spending six
hundred dollars on tack, but croaks when you blow ten on bowling.

An engaging conversationalist: Can rattle on endlessly about
training or breeding.

Socially aware: Knows that formal occasions call for clean boots.

A moving force in the family: House by house, she'll get you to move
closer to horse country (and farther away from your job.)

Easy to please: A new wheelbarrow, custom boots, or even a folding
hoof pick will win her heart forever.

Sentimental fool: Displays a minimum of six 8x10 color photos of the
horse in the house and carries a crumpled snapshot of you (taken
before you were married) somewhere in the bottom of her purse.

Shows her affection in unusual ways: If she pats you on the neck and
says, "You're a good boy," believe it or not, she loves you."
LOLOLOLOL! That's me in a nutshell! Every item in it applied to me! Yup, I've been bitten by the horse bug for as long as i can remember! LOL!
Purse? I'm supposed to carry a purse?
My husband thought it was hilliarous. Especially the part about the budget.

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