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Not sure if this has been posted before or not, I'm not sure it's even true, but it is funny, I got it today and got a good laugh out of it. ;-) Stun Gun (only a man would do this) (Gals - you have got to read the whole thing if you can keep the tears out of your eyes) Pocket Taser...

>> Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar at 9:58 PM. He sat >> down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. >> The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. >> The blonde looked at Bob and...

THINGS YOU DON'T HEAR ANY MORE Yes'um, OK Mom! Be sure and refill the ice trays, we are going to have company after while. Watch for the postman, I want to get this letter in the mail today. Quit slamming that screen door! Be sure to pull the windows down when you leave, it looks...

http://www.lonestaroutdoorsman.com/thom ... ecipes.pdf Found this the other day, some of the recipes looked pretty good! Thought some of you might like to look them over. Not sure if it effects dial up users but it's close to 500 pages of recipes. ;-)

I saw this today and it brought back alot of old memorys. Hope you enjoy this as much as I did. ;-) A TEST FOR OLD KIDS ! The answers are all printed below -but- please don't cheat! 01. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens...

Washington Post's Mensa Invitation once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. This was 2005 year's list winners: 1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you...

In September of 2005, a social studies school teacher from Arkansas did something not to be forgotten. On the first day of school, with permission of the school superintendent, the principal, and the building supervisor, she took all of the desks out of the classroom. The kids came into first...

Got this tonight from a friend and got a few smiles, thought I'd share. ;-) 1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a...

I got this yesterday and thought I'd share it. Hope you enjoy. ;-) Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year...

Because of the climate of political correctness now pervading America , those of us from Arkansas will no longer be referred to as HILLBILLIES..... We ask that you now refer to us as OZARK-AMERICANS. Thank you! Now if you'll excuse me, I got possums to fry. ;-)

Someone sent these to me, I enjoyed them, hope ya'll do too. Every year, English teachers from across the country can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays. These excerpts are published each year to the amusement of teachers across the...

Anybody else following the series? Georgia has a really fine team, I've watched them for several games. Looks like they're set to go with their best pitcher in the finals tomorrow. ;-)

Some of these I've seen before but there are a couple of new ones. Two blondes living in Arkansas were sitting on a bench talking....... And one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away...Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you...

I used to have a Labrador retriever & I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog(?). On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital...

> My neighbor found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears so he cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. > > The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from reoccurring she should...

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel...

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St.Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, "Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have...

>> This was developed as an age test by the R&D department at Harvard University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 50 years of age can't do it! >> Good Luck! >> >> 1. This is this cat >> 2. This is is cat >> 3. This is how...

>Comments Made In The Year 1957 >============================== > >I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, >it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20. > >Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? >It won't be long before $2000 will only buy a...

Al, Bill & Hillary die and stand before God. The Lord addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?" Al replies, "Well, I believe I won that election, but that it was your will that I did not serve. And I've come to understand that now." God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, very good...