Daily Joke

A friendly place for chat, rumors, gossip and jokes.
Redgully
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Re: Daily Joke

Post by Redgully » Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:16 pm

ez14. wrote:
Tue Apr 09, 2019 6:03 pm
https://youtu.be/yflTu150QZw
Poor buggers. My advice would be rip it out and try spaghetti, much more profitible.

https://youtu.be/tVo_wkxH9dU



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Nesikep
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Re: Daily Joke

Post by Nesikep » Wed Apr 10, 2019 3:02 pm

Redgully wrote:
Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:16 pm
ez14. wrote:
Tue Apr 09, 2019 6:03 pm
Poor buggers. My advice would be rip it out and try spaghetti, much more profitible.

That's exactly where I was born!
What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence
-Christopher Hitchens

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ez14.
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Re: Daily Joke

Post by ez14. » Wed Apr 10, 2019 4:07 pm

Nesikep wrote:
Wed Apr 10, 2019 3:02 pm
Redgully wrote:
Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:16 pm
ez14. wrote:
Tue Apr 09, 2019 6:03 pm
Poor buggers. My advice would be rip it out and try spaghetti, much more profitible.

That's exactly where I was born!
You ever have a spaghetti patch?

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Named'em Tamed'em
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Re: Daily Joke

Post by Named'em Tamed'em » Wed Apr 10, 2019 9:13 pm

ez14. wrote:
Wed Apr 10, 2019 4:07 pm
Nesikep wrote:
Wed Apr 10, 2019 3:02 pm
Redgully wrote:
Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:16 pm


Poor buggers. My advice would be rip it out and try spaghetti, much more profitible.

That's exactly where I was born!
You ever have a spaghetti patch?
We used to have a spaghetti patch growing up, mom got tired of me throwing noodles against the wall of the house to see if they would stick during harvest season.

So she tore 'em out and we started raising jackalope ,figured we'd sell the horns to Asia and the meat to KFC! Never panned out! :roll:
Get over it! It could have been alot worse.

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Re: Daily Joke

Post by Nesikep » Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:23 am

ez14. wrote:
Wed Apr 10, 2019 4:07 pm
Nesikep wrote:
Wed Apr 10, 2019 3:02 pm
Redgully wrote:
Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:16 pm


Poor buggers. My advice would be rip it out and try spaghetti, much more profitible.

That's exactly where I was born!
You ever have a spaghetti patch?
I'm still trying to find bacon seeds
What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence
-Christopher Hitchens

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Re: Daily Joke

Post by Redgully » Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:40 am

Nesikep wrote:
Thu Apr 11, 2019 12:23 am
ez14. wrote:
Wed Apr 10, 2019 4:07 pm
Nesikep wrote:
Wed Apr 10, 2019 3:02 pm

That's exactly where I was born!
You ever have a spaghetti patch?
I'm still trying to find bacon seeds
My mate had some of those in his a.i tank......

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alisonb
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Re: Daily Joke

Post by alisonb » Thu Apr 11, 2019 1:21 pm

John is having a bad day...
He tried to button his shirt and the button fell off.
He picked up his briefcase and the handle fell off.
He went to the door and the doorknob fell off.
Now he's afraid to pee.
Few is the number who think with their own minds and feel with their own hearts. Albert Einstein
Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you!

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Re: Daily Joke

Post by Named'em Tamed'em » Sat Apr 13, 2019 12:56 pm

When I was a kid you could take a dollar to the store and come home with a bag of chips, 2 candy bars and a couple cans of soda.

Now there are cameras everywhere! :hide:
Get over it! It could have been alot worse.

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ga.prime
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Re: Daily Joke

Post by ga.prime » Thu Apr 18, 2019 12:06 pm

Just flew in from Cleveland and boy are my arms tired.
where'd it come from, how'd it get there?

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Re: Daily Joke

Post by OwnedByTheCow » Mon Apr 22, 2019 8:41 am

What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.
Be decisive, wether right or wrong.
The road of life is paved with many flat squirrels who couldn't make a decision.

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Re: Daily Joke

Post by Named'em Tamed'em » Mon Apr 22, 2019 11:12 pm

OwnedByTheCow wrote:
Mon Apr 22, 2019 8:41 am
What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?

A chicken sees a salad.
Haha had to tell that to the nieces :lol2:
Get over it! It could have been alot worse.

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Re: Daily Joke

Post by Named'em Tamed'em » Thu May 16, 2019 5:39 pm

A little boy was walking to town with his hands cupped looking inside

Old man sitting on a porch says where you going boy what you got in your hands?

I'm going to town I've got me a firefly I'm going to trade it for firewood

The old man says it don't work that way boy

Little while later Boy comes walking by with a bundle of firewood

Next day he's walking to town with his hands cupped looking inside

Where are you going today boy the old man said

I've got me a butterfly I'm going to town trade it for some butter

Boy it don't work that way don't you get it

Little while later boys walking back from town sackful of butter

The next day boys walking to town and the old man says what you got today boy where you going

I got me some puzzy willow

Hold it right there boy, let me grab my hat!! :)
Get over it! It could have been alot worse.

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Re: Daily Joke

Post by Cornfed01 » Sun May 19, 2019 12:45 pm

Image

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JMJ Farms
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Re: Daily Joke

Post by JMJ Farms » Sun May 19, 2019 1:33 pm

A preacher was making his rounds to his church members on his bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower. "How much do you want for the mower?" asked the preacher. "I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle," said the little boy. After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, "Will you take my bike in trade for it?" The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after riding the bike around a little while, said, "Mister, you've got yourself a deal." The preacher took the mower home. The next day when he decides to mow the lawn he proceeds to crank it. He pulled on the rope over and over with no response from the mower. The preacher called the little boy over and said, "I can't get this mower to start." The little boy said, "That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started." The preacher said, I'm a preacher, and I can't cuss. It's been so long since I've been saved that I don't even remember how to cuss."

The little boy looked at him happily and said, "You just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya!"
Until we remember that the left wing and the right wing belong to the same bird and we come together as a nation then this country is in for more turmoil - Jogeephus

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Re: Daily Joke

Post by JMJ Farms » Mon May 20, 2019 8:38 pm

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students.

"Human beings are the only animals that stutter", she says.

A little girl raises her hand "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered", she volunteered.

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

"Well", she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"

"That must've been scary", said the teacher.

"It sure was", said the little girl.

"My kitty raised his back, went 'Fffff, Fffff, Fffff'....And before he could say ‘f@!k', the Rottweiler ate him!"

The teacher fainted!
Until we remember that the left wing and the right wing belong to the same bird and we come together as a nation then this country is in for more turmoil - Jogeephus

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