Discipling someone else's child

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Brute 23
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby Brute 23 » Wed Nov 15, 2017 11:09 am

To each their own. It's not my business what some one does in their home.

My parents never laid a hand on my brother and I. They sat us down and talked to us like adults no matter how young we were. If they spelled out the consequences they backed them up. They were very open with us about every thing from family finances to consequences. They told us their good choices and their bad.

My brother and I both turned out just fine and are productive people, who manage other people, with out getting physical.

I've never been able to beat respect in to a person or animal and in my younger days I tried once or twice.
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby pdfangus » Wed Nov 15, 2017 11:25 am

Brute 23....

My problem is I can never predict how my boss is going to react to anything...

I call her Quick Draw McGraw cause she makes snap decisions on the impulse or emotion of the moment and then browbeats the others into submission....

I make her program me....and she usually finds a way to compel me into doing things her way....but often if I can hold out long enough something from outside will change her opinion.
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby Craig Miller » Wed Nov 15, 2017 11:33 am

She clearly sees you as a sister not an aunt. I have spanked all 3 of my kids. I have also out them in time outs. Grounded from electronics. Missed fun stuff. All forms of punishment work different with different kids. I could spank my daughter and she'll go right back to what she was doing. Put her in a time out and she will have a come apart and beg for forgiveness. I keep my niece and nephew a good bit and I've never had to spank them. I can usually give them a good talking to and they'll be good. It could be that she just doesn't recognize the danger. Also dont sweat the small stuff. Chasing chickens bothers you but probably isn't hurting anything. Get you a good rooster and that will stop.
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby Brute 23 » Wed Nov 15, 2017 11:34 am

pdfangus wrote:Brute 23....

My problem is I can never predict how my boss is going to react to anything...

I call her Quick Draw McGraw cause she makes snap decisions on the impulse or emotion of the moment and then browbeats the others into submission....

I make her program me....and she usually finds a way to compel me into doing things her way....but often if I can hold out long enough something from outside will change her opinion.


You can't win every battle. :) with bosses and kids it's not as easy but with animals you cull the ones that don't cooperate.
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby OwnedByTheCow » Wed Nov 15, 2017 6:39 pm

wacocowboy wrote:Just curious where are your parents or these kids Grandparents they might be better doing the discipline or laying down the law. I think I’d give her a chore list to burn off that energy.

Typically I'm the only one home when they come. My parents try to go out to town and make themselves busy.
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby D2Cat » Wed Nov 15, 2017 10:49 pm

"Typically I'm the only one home when they come. My parents try to go out to town and make themselves busy."

That statement kind of tells the story. The problem if out of hand and no one wants to redirect the parents of these children. Someone better get them under control real soon or you will be reading about them in the newspaper.

Kind of like Caser Millan, the dog guy. They need exercise. discipline then reward by someone who is calm, assertive and consistent.

Wasn't it John Lyon who said, "Make the right thing easy and the wrong thing difficult"?
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby wacocowboy » Thu Nov 16, 2017 6:17 pm

OwnedByTheCow wrote:
wacocowboy wrote:Just curious where are your parents or these kids Grandparents they might be better doing the discipline or laying down the law. I think I’d give her a chore list to burn off that energy.

Typically I'm the only one home when they come. My parents try to go out to town and make themselves busy.


I’d talk to your parents and I assume they own the farm. If something happens they will be liable and they need to lay the ground rules either follow them or don’t come over.
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby cow pollinater » Thu Nov 16, 2017 7:49 pm

Talk to the kid before you leave the house. Tell them what good behavior is and what bad behavior is and explain that bad behavior means loss of fun time and good behavior means something special. Follow through on that promise and make it obvious. At the end of each outing tell them, "you did this wrong but you did this just right" etc. Make sure there is a positive in there somewhere. Reward them if they did more right than wrong. It doesn't have to be anything special, they'll understand that they are being rewarded if you explain it to them.
I have spanked both of my kids but honestly, by the time I got done explaining where they went wrong it was a formality. I still have a young man that lived with us for a period of time that calls me from time to time when he's struggling with right and wrong and the above plan was the only guidance I had to offer him and his "parents" are back in his life now so I have to believe it worked for him.
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby OwnedByTheCow » Thu Nov 16, 2017 8:09 pm

I am thinking that this weekend her and I will have a discussion about safe farm behavior on the way here and tell her that I am going to be more serious about it from now on and let her know what to expect. Such as the consequences for her actions. I think I will start first by seeing how a 5 minute time out will go.
I've never thought about putting a child in time out before. Do I walk her all the way to the house or should she just sit on a box? I could probably put her into one of the horse stalls in case of a meltdown. I don't think she can hurt herself in there. My parents have never put me in time out before, I have no first hand experience.
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby Ky hills » Thu Nov 16, 2017 8:23 pm

OwnedByTheCow wrote:I am thinking that this weekend her and I will have a discussion about safe farm behavior on the way here and tell her that I am going to be more serious about it from now on and let her know what to expect. Such as the consequences for her actions. I think I will start first by seeing how a 5 minute time out will go.
I've never thought about putting a child in time out before. Do I walk her all the way to the house or should she just sit on a box? I could probably put her into one of the horse stalls in case of a meltdown. I don't think she can hurt herself in there. My parents have never put me in time out before, I have no first hand experience.

My parents never used time out either. However, I have had to as a childcare teacher and a school teacher. I would use the box. Be sure not to give in and the second time I would take it to the house. I do not know this child's personality so I do not know how she will react. It sounds like you have a good plan just make sure you stick to your guns and be consistent. I have found in my experience you cannot give in or they will take it to the max and increase every time. They need to see you are rock solid so they realize what they are doing is not going to work. Keep up the good work!
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby WalnutCrest » Thu Nov 16, 2017 11:31 pm

A great point ... if your folks own the farm, inform them of the possible risk. If you're due to inherit it, you may want to call the insurance agent yourself to see if you have coverage for injuries.
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby Brute 23 » Fri Nov 17, 2017 1:25 am

OwnedByTheCow wrote:I am thinking that this weekend her and I will have a discussion about safe farm behavior on the way here and tell her that I am going to be more serious about it from now on and let her know what to expect. Such as the consequences for her actions. I think I will start first by seeing how a 5 minute time out will go.
I've never thought about putting a child in time out before. Do I walk her all the way to the house or should she just sit on a box? I could probably put her into one of the horse stalls in case of a meltdown. I don't think she can hurt herself in there. My parents have never put me in time out before, I have no first hand experience.


Go with the box first. It usually takes a minute or two at the max if it's going to work. Melt downs are ok. They usually get tired and give up. If there is any doubt she will hurt herself or does not want to co-operate it's time to call her mom to pick her up. Tell her she can return when she follows the rules.

You will make a great parent one day. Some times the best examples are the worse ones. This is a good time to practice. If you break these you can send them home. :D
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby Craig Miller » Fri Nov 17, 2017 6:44 am

I'd probably just stand or sit her against the barn wall if it was mine. Don't forget the positive rewards. Also if you're just walking around have you thought of just holding her hand while you're walking?
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby True Grit Farms » Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:07 am

Craig Miller wrote:I'd probably just stand or sit her against the barn wall if it was mine. Don't forget the positive rewards. Also if you're just walking around have you thought of just holding her hand while you're walking?


My ears are still stretched out from my granny and mom dragging - walking me out of somewhere I miss behaved.
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Re: Discipling someone else's child

Postby Jogeephus » Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:41 am

True Grit Farms wrote:
Craig Miller wrote:I'd probably just stand or sit her against the barn wall if it was mine. Don't forget the positive rewards. Also if you're just walking around have you thought of just holding her hand while you're walking?


My ears are still stretched out from my granny and mom dragging - walking me out of somewhere I miss behaved.


Same here but this is someone else's child who it sounds like doesn't believe in spanking. Laying a hand on this child could bring the wrath of a woman and that is never a good thing.

This reminds me of my next door neighbor when I was a child. His parents read that Dr. Spock book about rationalizing with a child and whenever we got into mischief we all would get whippings and his parents would sit him down and discuss things. We didn't like this one bit because often he was the reason we got our azzes whipped. One day we were giving him grief about this and he told us his parents didn't spank him because he enjoyed it. We called BS on this and to prove this he challenged us to whip him. Next thing led to him hanging upside down on a tree limb and and we commenced to whipping his bare azz with switches. He actually hung on longer than we expected but ended up running home crying to his mother. Shortly thereafter we all had our butts beat and we were comparing azz cheeks to see whose azz was the blackest.

As time went on he ended up getting into a lot of trouble with drugs and other things so it seems like that Dr. Spock didn't know shyt about the benefit of having your azz blackened as a child because all the other kids turned out alright.
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